Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Can my dd be forced to go with her dad

My dd is 4. Her dad isn't around much because of work but he is moving closer. He said he wants every other weekend. The problem is, my dd WON'T go with him when he picks her up. I mean flat out refuses. She just has no bond with him, my husband is a great dad to her though. Usually, he has to pick her up kicking and sreaming and put her in the car. do you think I could be found in comtemp of court if when he comes to pick her up, if she doesn't want to go, I don't allow him to drag her from my house? I mean I will let her go if she wants and encourage it, I just don't feel comfortable with him coming in my home and draging her out. I know she needs a relationship with him BUT being dragged from her home doesn't seem to be the best way to get the bonding going and it happens once a month or so.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I am not sure what you can do but I wish you the best of luck with everything.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:51 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • You can absolutely be found in contempt of court if she doesn't go with her father per the court order. Do what you can to foster a good relationship - get excited when talking to your DD about going with him, tell her what a great time she will have, etc. It's going to be rough - but she needs to go with her father. If it's that difficult, go to the court and try to have visitation modified.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:51 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • You don't have to let him in your house and drag her out - you would have to take her out to his car if you don't want him in your house. I understand what you're saying, my kids don't always like going to their dads because of his new wife. I tell them that they need to go, and they will treat her with respect. You need to find a way to help foster this relationship so the visits are easier on all of you. You could absolutely be taken to court for custodial interference if your ex doesn't get his scheduled time with your daughter, regardless of whether she has a tantrum when he comes to get her or not.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:14 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I agree with you.  It's not productive and him only coming around once a month might be the reasoning behind it.  Do you have court soon?  I would make sure to tell the judge that you understand the need for them to see each other but it might be best if for awhile, supervised visits be put into place.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I dont think it can be held against you. Especially if you tell them how she acts when he picks her up. Have you tried supervised visits for a while to get the bonding started rather then him just dragging her kicking and screaming.
    ready4baby2011

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 8:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • Why don't you encourage him to visit her more often or maybe if he has family in the area she can visit them. At 4 years old she can't be allowed to say no to visits because that is counterproductive. Just because he had to work and can't see her as often as most fathers doesn't mean that she can scream and yell because he wants a visit. You need to be encouraging a relationship and telling her how much fun she will have with daddy. My kids' father went 8 months without seeing them because of the military but, I would never allow that kind of behavior out of them. Since he moving closer, you need to tell your daughter she will visit her dad whether she likes it or not and remind her that your husband might be the one that has been around more but, she can't change who her father is and she needs to respect him. Eventually, she will start to like it. Hopefully, at court he will get more visits.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:07 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • My sister went through this. My niece would run, hide, cry scream, call for help. You name it, she did it. It was sad to watch.

    BUT...you have to follow the court order. If an order says every other weekend, it's every other weekend. The last thing you want to do is be held in contempt or have a custodial interference issue. That will only work against you in the future if something happens.

    She has to go. Kicking, dragging or scratching. Until the court says, she has to go.
    heatheryn

    Answer by heatheryn at 7:49 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • He refuses to do supervised visits and since there is not reason for the court to make him, there is nothing I can do. We will be going back within a few months I just don't know what to do
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • suba, I understand she should see him but if I refuse to let him come in my home and drag her out it what I am asking
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • well there has to be a reason why your dd doesn't want to go... so you need to ask her why.. but if the court doesn't say he can't see her or pick her up then there really isn't nothing you can do till she is older.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 11:35 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN