Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I tell him?

Ok...a week before I turned 13 I was raped by a guy I was dating (he was 19...I was young & wasn't thinking when I got with him to begin with). I broke up with him after that & haven't heard from him since thankfully. No one knows about this because I felt embarrassed & ashamed...my hubby doesn't even know...he thinks I've only been with one person besides him, but if you count the rape it was really three...should I tell him? I don't really want to tell him, but at the same time I feel guilty for not telling him....I just need some opinions!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • i would tell him and tell him it was raped,hell be glad you have spoken out about he may want to take it further,he maybe angry tell him that you are scared and thats why you havent spoken up untill now
    cruizymum

    Answer by cruizymum at 4:18 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Thanks for the advice...I think I will tell him...as long as I don't chicken out! lol!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I had the same thing happen to me and felt the same way. The only person i was able to tell was my boyfriend and he helped me a lot with dealing with it and feeling better about myself again. It was already a few years after it happened that i told him. I would tell him I'm sure you'll feel a lot better sounds like it's bothering you.
    BabyGsMaMa13

    Answer by BabyGsMaMa13 at 4:30 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Their is nothing to be ashamed about, what happened 2 you was not your fault. And by not telling your husband is being dishonest, I know it's hard  to bring up the past, but 2 have a healthyrelationship you have to be honest with one another! Maybe by telling him it will  help him understand you more. Sometimes we react to certain situation the way we do because of our past. And personally It would bring peace of mind! It's up 2 you I would pray for God 2 give the proper words on how 2 tell your hubby!


    in love

    EfraimsMom

    Answer by EfraimsMom at 9:01 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I would tell him. He won't like the fact that you lied, but I think he might understand that you were embarassed and ashamed. You didn't do anything wrong. At 13, there were supposed to be people protecting you by parenting you. I am so sorry that happened. I would be honest. This is your lifetime partner. He needs to know so that he can help you.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:53 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • tell him. don't hide.
    __baovang

    Answer by __baovang at 11:31 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • secrets can bring people together n knowing the situation n all its nice to get it off your chest to someone who loves you...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
I have never climaxed...help!!!

Next question overall (Health)
Any coping ideas