Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Would you allow your child to be treated differently??

My husband and I have been together since my daughter was 1. and they bonded very quickly.. she started calling him daddy and his parents and family took her in as their own .. which was sooooo wonderful.. now we have our son and now they are treating her differently.. and I am not putting up with it. His mom isnt coming her her bday party.. now everytime she comes home (she is a flight attendant so she is out of town alot) she comes over (unannouced) and majority of the time she ignores my daughter and only pays attention to my son) and my Husband ALWAYS makes excuses for her.. i ammm soo freaking sick of it. anytime i do something a little out of line that his mommy dear doesnt agree with its becomes an issue between us.. if his mom does somthing out of line... its ignored.. and he makes excuses for her.. if they treated her as their grandchild before my son was born they should continue and if they cant then i want nothing to do with them,.. fake asses

Answer Question
 
Ross2010

Asked by Ross2010 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • You might sit down your husband and tell him your daughter is picking up the tab for this and neither of you can understand why. What has changed so much? I'd get to the bottom of what may have changed. Your husband needs to understand that a little kid is being hurt by it. He needs to chat with his Mother and set her straight. If she's gonna visit your son, she needs to have the same courtesy toward your daughter or she needn't come over at all.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • They are idiots if they want nothing to do with her then they can't have nothing to do with the other. Its not fair to make a child feel like she doesn't belong just because their stupid ideas about been blood related. I would go out in a rush for an important errand with both of them every-time the MIL comes unannounced, Sorry I have to go good to see you byeeeeee
    gou18

    Answer by gou18 at 10:07 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I totally agree with you!! My husbands ather and step mom done that with my children and (Her) grandchildren. She wanted my kids to call her grandma but she didnt want to treat them like she did her (biological) grandchildren, but when his own father started doing the same, it pissed us both off and we started visiting less often and ofcourse they never came to see our kids but they did go to the other grandchildrens houses. BUT the breaking point was when my son was about 4 and he was telling his grandfather something and my son turns to me with tears and ask me "why wont granddaddy listen to me?"..that was it! and we knew that he was being hurt by the foolishness, so we stopped visiting. Now my kids are grown and they remember how they done and it has majorly impacted there relationship with there grandfather and all i can say is that its his own fault.
    Barbara1970

    Answer by Barbara1970 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • That would piss me off to NO ends. I'm sorry that you are going through this and your hub is being such a wimp...and NO I wouldn't put up with it. I would tell her that unless she can treat the kids even then she isn't welcome in your home and if hub has a problem with it, then he can go and live with his MOMMY
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:40 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • im sorry his family is treating your daughter this way i would tell your hubby grandmother if she cant treat your daughter equally she is not allowed to see her grandkids anymore be honest & goodluck mama
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 11:32 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • I would not allow it in this circumstance.
    I sometimes allow my children to be treated unfairly with other children, since life isn't fair in general, but family is different. Family is family and kids are equally loved - that's the rule.
    MariAnKenobi

    Answer by MariAnKenobi at 11:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2011

  • sounds like you have it figured out all on your own. No one would stand for it you have every right to feel that way. he needs to understand that she is your daughter and you will not by any means tolerate or raise her where she is forced to feel less important then her brother it also causes sibling rivalry. mamas boys ugh cant stand them! maybe his mommy can do what you do for him tell his ass that.

    Destins_Mommy

    Answer by Destins_Mommy at 12:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • My Grandmother doesn't want me to remarry because of this. She is convinced the moment I have another child, the father will treat Mia badly, as will his family. That is why I am SO careful, and so sure I won't have another child, I won't get married again. It's scary to think I'll be a single mother again, so I'm doing what I can to avoid that as well.

    Still, if I was in your shoes, I'd have a sit down with the mother. I'd ask her to lunch, VERY politely, and ASK HER what the deal is. Simply explain you notice, and if you notice, your daughter does as well. Tell her you won't allow her to disregard your daughter that way, and if she ONLY wants to bond with her Grandson, she will need to set up a schedule, and STICK TO IT, where she can she him alone.

    Good luck!
    mrskrisher

    Answer by mrskrisher at 12:58 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • That's just so wrong. You didn't say how old your daughter was, but one day she's going to figure it out for herself if something isn't done now. It is favoritism. Then the questions will start. Does your husband treat them differently? You need to put him in his place and tell him exactly what you think, and that your daughter is going to notice she's being differently. It's not our going to be fair to her. The sooner your husband realizes this, he can explain it to his mother.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:09 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • It is wrong...but it is what it is! They accepted u and ur daughter bcuz their son accepted u. when u gave them a grandson-emotions and resources went natural. It is harsh on a mothr's feelings to look at a child go through this, but now explaining explaining explaining is all that can b done. And one day, daughter will know the story for herself! Good Luck!
    QueenAdeela

    Answer by QueenAdeela at 5:21 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN