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Am I alone?

this is kinda weird and doesnt make much sence but does anyone else feel like this.....

I have always said I didnt want kids because im to selfish.
well I recently had twins (NOT planned) while on birth control.
I love them but I hate that my life isnt the same and I find myself saying to my self over and over that I do NOT want anymore kids... I love them but I am not enjoying it all that much... whats wrong with me?

its not PPD because I knew I would feel like this before I ever was a parent (I was never one of those girls that wanted to hold babies) but I also thought while I was pregnant that those thoughts would change and that I would completely love being a parent once my twins were born....

but not so much

Answer Question
 
FITmama2B

Asked by FITmama2B at 12:25 AM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,666 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I can honestly say I loved and longed for my children long before they were in my arms - both the one I gave birth to and the others whom I didn't give birth to.... but I know many moms who love their children beyond belief who took longer to bond and to warm up. Congrats on your babies - I wish you luck, mama :)
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 12:34 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • So... give them up for adoption...????
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 12:37 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Sometimes it takes time to get that mama bond. And even though I adore my kids and would die for them and love having them here... it's not enjoyable 24/7 either. Especially as newborns before their little personalities shine through. Give it time. And if you still don't feel like you will ever enjoy being a mom, maybe talk to somebody who can help your mindset change...
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 12:41 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • My only concern is that your children will pick up on the fact that they seemingly interrupted your life rather than made your life worth living. In my opinion, you need to seek help from someone that can help you let go of the past and deal with what is happening now. Your children should not have to feel even the slightest that they are/were unwanted. I'm not trying to be rude, that is just my opinion.
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 12:42 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Girl, your not alone.. I have two boys. A 5 year old and a 2 month old. I love them dearly, but I 'm so done with having kids. Having kids unplanned dose change your life around. It's like stuff you use to do, you can't anymore. I don't reget my babies because if it wasn't for them maybe I wouldn't be here. They are the reason I have my life around. Im in college so I can provide for them. I want my boys to have the best when they get older in life. I want my boys to be proud of there mom. So, yeah your not alone.. The feel will go away soon.
    successful24

    Answer by successful24 at 1:01 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • some people dont lOVE being a mom as much as others. u know now. but like u said, u love the kids. i dont think it would be a good idea to have any more though, no that u know how u feel. once these children are grown u will be able to have your freedom back. but remember they didnt ask to be born, so give them all the love & time they deserve. & maybe think about gettin the tubes tied? unless u feel you will truly do a 180. good luck .
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:13 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • just because you felt this way before does not mean it isn't PPD. I have a friend who was this way and it was PPD she loves her daughter now but she needed to get help. Get help
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 4:36 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • i can somewhat relate. I have a 5yr old daughter who was planned but after a severe bout of ppd i said I never wanted anymore children. I loved her but I went through a living hell with ppd. I just recently had a surprise baby in Sept. and when I found out I was pregnant with him I cried and cried becasue I didn't want another baby. I tried to force myself to be happy throughout my entire pregnancy. I love him and we are developing a bond now but it took some time. This is my last baby because my hubby is going for a vasectomy in the next couple of weeks. Maybe you should consider a more permanent plan of birth control if you really don't want anymore children. Just hang in there. Having children is a major life change and soon you will realize that you couldn't imagine your life without them.
    carolinagirl075

    Answer by carolinagirl075 at 7:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

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