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3 Bumps

My toddler is having frequent tantrums and I'm ready to throw in the towel!

It's been going on for a couple of weeks. If she doesn't get her way, she screams and cries like I'm trying to murder her. Today she decided she wasn't going to take a nap. She screamed for at least 20 minutes before I allowed her to get out of her crib. Her dad was visiting today, so he let her watch cartoons in the living room while I took a much-needed nap. At the grocery store tonight, she had a fit because I wouldn't buy her an Auntie Anne's pretzel. She refused to eat dinner. Everything is NO NO NO!! I can't take this anymore. I feel like I don't like her at times, and it makes me worried. I love her, but sometimes I just want to walk away.

Can you help me?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 AM on Jan. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • She is testing her boundaries. She is trying to see what she can get away with and what she can't.
    When you let her get up when she is supposed to be taking a nap she now knows that if she doesnt want to do something and fights and hollers loud and long enough you will give up.
    Stick to your guns and set straightford rules. If its nap time, its nap time. Make a nap time ritual, books or 1 cartoon whatever works for you and then lay down with her and its nap time.
    Since you said you nap it can be a scheduled nap time where you both crawl in bed and nap. Tap lots of deep breaths and count to 10 or 100, stay patient but stick to your boundaries.
    aubrianasangel

    Answer by aubrianasangel at 12:54 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • i understand. my son is such a cry baby. he cries about everything. been like that since he was born. sometimes i cry because i just dont know what to do to make him understand STOP CRYING SO MUCH. on A really bad day I too feel like that. plus i'm a sahm so we are together all day long
    Sky_Mom

    Answer by Sky_Mom at 12:58 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • It's ok Momma, we all have days, weeks...months like this. I know it is hard but this to shall pass.
    The first message hit it right on the head.....she is testing you......dont worry you are passing with flying colors by asking for help.
    Yes sometimes you want nothing more than for her to just stop but this is when you have to dig in.
    When my son was in this stage I ignored his behavior. I told him "grayson, I know you are angry., when you stop having a tantrum (be sure that she knows what a tantrum is. Lots of moms say tantrum without thier baby knowing what it is and that causes more problems.) Anyway....'when you stop having a tantrum we can talk. Or if the situation calls for it and she is doing something that doesnt really warrant a conversation after ward, tell her (for exsample) Momma doesnt understand your whiney voice, talk normal so I can understand....if whine continues, ignore. My son and I do well with this
    Ihatelaundry

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 1:12 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Don't take her shopping hungry. Mornings first thing after breakfast are best.
    Set the rules, bedtimes, naptimes ( maybe put her to bed early and skip the naps) and STICK to them.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 1:14 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • whenever you feel That overwhelmed you should always have someone you can call that is willing to either talk to u until u feel more calm, or come by to visit & help u out or just be there for company, or if it is severe, be able to pick your daughter up if u feel so overwhelmed..weather it be dad, or your family, or a sitter that u can call..someone u trust. i know we cant all find people willing & able to come at the drop of a hat when u need help, but if u have a few different people lined up, & they know u r having a rough time..im sure u can try to come up with something here & there when it is a must. good luck..my son is a wild one also!!!
    hellokitty1978

    Answer by hellokitty1978 at 1:02 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Do you have time out? This is a useful tool if you are commited to it.
    My guy is 5 now. If i ignore a behavior he stops, thinks and communicates diffirently ( the correct behavior)

    If the tantrum is so far gone that you go to a not so good place in your head and your about to blow.....WALK AWAY.......to the bathroom, outside, head in the fridge whatever, just walk away.
    Hugs, everything will be better soon.
    Ihatelaundry

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 1:17 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Anon answerer: I think you meant your comment directed toward yourself! You are obviously you are obviously not a mother or just a complete jerk. Being a mother is the hardest most rewarding and yet unrewarding job there is. Be strong poster, most of us if not al of us have felt like we are screwing up at our job as a mother and are at wits end. Take it one day at a time, show her/him lots of love, do your best to stick to your No's and take care of yourself because a stressed out momma is no good for a little one. Good luck
    rhonda111787

    Answer by rhonda111787 at 4:32 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Discipline is something that should be started right now, in my opinon.  Whatever discipline you decide, you are the parent.  She needs to know that this behavior is unacceptable and will no longer happen.  Google Super Nanny, she has great tricks on parenting that you might find useful.  And don't be so hard on yourself.  Take a breather, whoooosawwwwwww. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:21 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • rkoloms - she said she put her in the bed for a nap.
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 4:24 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • She's two. She's been alive less than 36 months.

    It is common for children to go through phases when not being omnipotent and having irritating things like gravity keep acting the same way even after they say please are INFURIATING. The frustration fills their bodies and they have no ability to step back, be mature or hold it all inside...

    Generally, the most effective method of dealing with tantrums is to stop them from happening. Watch her for signs that she's getting tired, hungry, frustrated, lonely or thirsty --nothing puts people over the edge faster than being depleted and challenged at the same time.

    You may like to create a more predictable pattern for your day: some food, some activity, some rest, some creativity, some outside, some company, some rest, some food, some quiet time, some activity, etc... it doesn't matter that it all happens every day, but little kids often need help pacing their lives.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:28 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

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