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Chronic pain; What can I do or say to make my husband feel better?

My husband is really out of it since a couple of weeks. I'm very thankful if he washes the dishes, so the kitchen is tidy when I come home from work. or if he's been out for a short walk or taken a shower. Other than that he spends most of his time on the couch and at the computer because the pain is so disabling. last night he told me, that he feels sorry for me and my daughter, because we have to put up with it all. It's depressing him a lot. And I told him, that sometimes I don't have the right answer. -What are you supposed to say, when somebody tells you for the 10th time, that it hurts here and there (but you can't do a thing about it). Sometimes I just go "hmmm". I don't wnat him to feel like I don't care. So I told him, that I don't know anything alse to say sometimes. I try and give different reactions. Make suggestions whaty it could be (of course he's seeing a doc over this), make tea, make it comfy for him and so on.

Any ideas what I can do for him to cheer him up? He's not into anything at the moment and I can understand why.

 
BeachMom81

Asked by BeachMom81 at 4:51 AM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Health

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This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Maybe being heard is the best gift that you can give him right now.  My husband is a little older, has a lot of aches and pains all the time, a hard physical job, etc.  I plan on buying him vitamins because a guy he works with swears by these ones.  A foot spa to help his aching feet, etc.  I understand in your case it's not quite so easy so I would suggest, like you've already said, making him drinks and listening to him.  Ask him questions about the pain so that he knows your really listening.  I'm sorry that he is going thru this but I commend you for trying to help.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 5:32 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I've been there. Chronic pain that is. It's quite depressing. Just stay upbeat and do with him what he can. Keep reassuring him.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:56 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • U trying touching the pain or the places that r hurting...put ur "healing hands" where he needs them. And listen while u rub, push, tug, whatever. And yes...u r busy and don't have the time for urself--but... u do have to find the time to do this if u really want to help.
    QueenAdeela

    Answer by QueenAdeela at 5:41 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • this--U trying touching the pain or the places that r hurting...put ur "healing hands" where he needs them. And listen while u rub, push, tug, whatever. And yes...u r busy and don't have the time for urself--but... u do have to find the time to do this if u really want to help.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 7:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • What is causing the chronic pain? How is it being treated? Has he tried alternate therapies? Dr's wanted to treat my back pain with drugs instead of finding the reason for the pain. I did my own research; went gluten free; and am now pain free.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 10:13 AM on Jan. 25, 2011