Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

5 Bumps

Should i let her???

I have been taking care of my 18 year old sister since 2009 when she was pregnant. She is a straight a student and listens to most things very well but i am having one problem with her. She has been with her boyfreind since 2008 and he is a year and a half younger than her. he is also our neighbor. She is always wanting to stay at his house. His parents are ok with it. I dont know if i should let her since they have had a baby (and lost her to early delivery) or try and be safe so nothing happens again. She graduates in june and starts college in Sept and will be living at home. I am so lost of what to do...

Answer Question

Asked by bellarose1230 at 8:54 AM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (51 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I wouldn't. Since he is younger, depending on the state, it could be statutory rape. OR, if they want to act like man and wife, she needs to get her own place and he can sleep over.

    This is not a girl buddy aka. sleepovers.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:58 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • As a mother and someone who has sisters that age I would say you should not let her. She obviously proved herself to be irresponsible the first time. She will not like this answer now, but will thank you later in life. Allow him to come to your house or allow them to go out together, Also I would push to get her on birth control. This is never an easy situation as you aren't her parents and she is 18.

    Answer by sweetiepie8540 at 8:59 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I would let her have time over there but insist that she needs to talk to a Dr about birth control. Unfortunatly at 18 she is an adult and if you pull to hard she may just move in with him and not go off to college. I am talking pill or depo something she can control. Some guys do poke wholes in condoms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Is she on birth control>? If not maybe tell her you would like to take her to get the shot or something? Otherwise I would tell her she could move out when she graduates high school. I mean if something is going to happen, well it will either way, but atleast you know that it didnt happen because you just let her go do the same thing again. Itll also teach her to set a goal. Once she is graduated then she can move she will be fully *raised* so to speak and she will have to make her own choices at that point.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:59 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • she was on depo and she got really sick. she is usually very responsable and very smart. she just turned 18 last week and he will be 17 in july. when she was with my mom(when she got pregnant) my mom let her stay with him or him stay over whenever they wanted. she respects me very well. she is very excited to go to college and has started some college courses since last summer. her boyfriend is at my house almost everyday even if she isnt here cause he loves spending time with the family.

    Comment by bellarose1230 (original poster) at 9:04 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Make sure she is on birth control. You're in a difficult situation with her, especially because the boy's parents are fine with them spending the night at their house. I think you'll be fighting a losing battle if you try to stop her, especially because of her age & permission from the bf's parents.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 9:06 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • She's 18. She will if she wants to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I agree that his parents are making this harder by allowing it. She may be 18, but she's in your home and has to respect your rules...and he should as well. They aren't truly adults until they pay their own bills, and have responsibility for themselves, and even after you move out there are rules that you have to follow, or you may have to pay the penalties. So being 18, doesn't mean she gets to do what she wants.

    That being said, I think I would take her back to the doctor, and discuss birth control options. I don't care how smart she is, when it comes to love and sex, whether she spends the night there or night, the odds are they will continue to have sex.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:13 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I would let her, but i would also make her go on birth control. She is 18 & an adult, she is going to do what she wants & trying to stop her will only make it harder on yourself.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:14 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • since she has been off the depo the dr is making her wait to get her period before putting her on the miraina. since she had lost their daughter in 09 she said sex isnt the same. she is scared of it now cause she knows what it leads to. and she said she just wants to stay there so she can be close with her boyfriend.

    Comment by bellarose1230 (original poster) at 9:22 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.