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What is the ''big deal'' about being on a birth certificate?

The ''father'' of my kids are not on there birth certificate. And clearly, I could care less. He was in jail at the time of my 1st DD's birth, and for our 2nd DD, he was there but left shortly after she was born, he didn't stay with me. He wants to be on the birth certificate, we have already established paternity, and so forth. All-in-all, he shouldn't be allowed to call himself a father! He hasn't called and even asked about my kids in 2 weeks, and I think I about DIED this morning when I found out he made a 65$ payment to child support (minimum amt.) first payment in almost 3 years!!!!!!!!

Should I let him be on the B.C.? & Since there is already paternity established, what more rights could he get by being on the B.C.? (none, i would think)

 
knicole0708

Asked by knicole0708 at 10:46 AM on Jan. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 23 (17,012 Credits)
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Answers (15)
  • It sounds like it's just something for him so don't be swayed by all the "it's for your kids!" garbage. I've never understood the idea that he is any less their father even though he never bothered to be around and even avoided paternity testing, classy move on his part, isn't on the birth certificate. I imagine he probably thinks he can get something out of his name being on there and that is what this is all about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • rights are not determined by what is or isn't on the birth certificate.

    if he wants to be added, he can take himself to the vital statistics office and pay the money to have himself added on. you are not obligated to do it for him.

    my ex is not on the bc of my oldest. nor does she have his last name. his only right is to pay child support and visit whenever he feels like it. he never visits though, infact, my dd doesn't even know him because he hasn't been around in 3 years and she's turning 5 this year.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:50 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • He could file for visitation.
    CraftingMama

    Answer by CraftingMama at 10:50 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I don't know that he'd have more rights, it sounds like if you've established paternity he probably will get whatever rights he's "entitled" to legally. (Doesn't sound like he deserves much right now) It does sound like maybe he wants to change his life and be a father to his daughter.

    I do think it's a big deal to be on the birth certificate, but I also think a marriage license is a big deal. It's a legal & public acknowledgment of his relationship with his daughters. For some people it isn't a big deal & that's okay, but for many people it is.

    Considering his track record, I think I'd tell him that he needs to earn the right to be on that birth certificate (if you have control of this) I don't know if you can stop him since he's established paternity, but if you can, since he hasn't been much of a dad, I'd make him earn it by actually being a good dad & that will take some serious time and effort on his part....
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • He doesn't get any further rights by it but your kids- when they grow may need to provide a birth certificate for some reason and having both parents on there may be important depending on what situation they end up in. When I applied for medicaid I had to provide a birth certificate with both my parents names on it.

    "All-in-all, he shouldn't be allowed to call himself a father!"

    That's not your kid's fault! You're the one that had kids with him. And the BC is your kid's record. Not yours, so as a parent you should make it as accurate as you can despite how you feel about their asshole father.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 10:51 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • He has already filed for visitation and custody.......
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • he doesn't have to be on the birth certificate to file for visitation. that is such a wide misconception. as long as paternity has been established, he has his foot in the door.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:54 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • tnm - so true! he isn't on either birth cert. and he has filed for visitation/custody (this was about almost a year ago...and it's still going on)
    knicole0708

    Comment by knicole0708 (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • That's not your kid's fault! You're the one that had kids with him. And the BC is your kid's record. Not yours, so as a parent you should make it as accurate as you can despite how you feel about their asshole father

    I agree, you chose to get with him and get pregnant. and i dont see the big deal with him being on the certificate.
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 11:06 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • "I agree, you chose to get with him and get pregnant. and i dont see the big deal with him being on the certificate."

    Just when I think I can't see any more insensitive and flat out rude comments, someone rises to the occasion.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jan. 25, 2011

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