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How do i get past it?

Almost 3 years ago, my grandparents home was broken into. They weren't home and the guy stole only money, checks, and a ring. But what he stole that hurts the most was my grandparents sense of safety and my grandpa's pride. After that night, my grandpa stopped going out except for drs appts and he lost the fight that he had in him. Grandpa stopped fighting his illness and just gave up. He died less than a month after the break in. Until the break in, grandpa had shown no signs of giving up. A few of us still blame the criminal for my grandpa's death (i know that he didn't physically cause it, but it still feels like he's to blame). How do i get past it since i know nothing will bring grandpa back? (its getting close to the anniversary, that's why its on my mind so strongly right now)

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Asked by r2mommy at 8:57 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • You will probably always think about it around the anniversary date. I lost my father 14 years ago and I sometimes when I'm really moody and losing it, I look at the calendar and I realize why. It's very strange that your mind knows the timeline. It helps me to think about my father in heaven with other loved ones, feeling no pain.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • You need to dust yourself off and try to move on...Cowgirls don't cry!..I am sure this is hard for you and I am soooo sorry for your loss...but please understand that everytime you feel down and unsafe and angry this asshole wins again...don't let him keep winning...never let them see you sweat! Don't let him keep tarnishing the memory of your grandpa....he would want to look down and know you are happy and healthy, so smile for his sake! Let yourself and your grandpa's memory have the last laugh!

    Answer by salexander at 9:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Almost 4 years ago on march 7th my neice was born at 25 weeks she was tiny. That afternoon or uncle was killed in a car accident. And too tye it all in my uncle shot and killed a boy in selfdefense on his way to get his family and tell them the loss of his brother. I never look at March 7 only as another Year Grace has made it but as the day my Uncle Died and my other uncle is sittin in prison. So I dont exactly know what to tell you to do, But I try to let the day go on and think about the Positve. He is no longer sick and worried all the time. I am sorry For your loss and I hope you get through it .

    Answer by AbbeyKAy at 10:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My mother was dying of cancer but she didn't know she was dying. She thought she could beat it. I have a sister who mom adopted out at birth. She called to check in on my mom and mom answered the phone. She told my mom "I hear you are dying and I just wanted to call and say hello". WTF? Mom gave up and died a couple weeks later. Would she have died anyway? IDK. All I know is she gave up the will to fight after that phone call. I didn't forgive my sister for years then realized i was only hurting myself. Dwelling on issues like that keeps us tied up inside and can cause physical problems. Plus, spiritually speaking blocks blessings. Let it go. Your grandfather is in a better place (imo) and at peace now. yes you miss him but we have to accept the circle of life even if the circle gets cut shorter than what we'd like.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:59 AM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • You do have the right to be upset and saddened,and this person didnt have the right to take your grandpas fredom,I am sorry for could have put fear into your grandfather and caused him to worry more then he might have before because his privacy and safety was violated and he felt as if he stayed home nobody could do it again which is sad because he should have been able to enjoy his golden years to the fullest,I wish you the best and hope you can get through this I know it is hard I went through a similar situation and I despise the person to this day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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