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i have been maried for 13 yrs, have had alot of problems half of my marriage, have gone to counseluing at church, came to blows that our relationship still have holes in it, but we seem to put that on back burner and just act like everthing is alright, it seems to be better but some part of me feels like we just put in out of sight, and just go with the flow of things. but i know we haven't solve any problems, just act like there aren't any, at least that it what it seems to me, both of us just seem to be happy and let it be behind us, but we both just seem to let it go , but there are still issues there....i love my husband but i have been thinking about this other man that i find attractive at out church and have been attracted to him, but haven't acted on it and i will never do that, but last night when me and husband were having sex i was thinking about this other man and wishing it was him instead of my husband, i got more into it because i was fantansing that it was this other man with me instead of husband...i would never cheat on my husband but why am i fantasing about another man instead of my husband.......

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lisa98450

Asked by lisa98450 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Because you dont feel like your husband understand you and is close to you. You arent connected, you are just going thru the motions. You need to find ways to reconnect with your husband, solve the problems, laugh together, go on dates and try to work on what you have. Dont settle for mediocre with your husband you can find the spark again if you both are willing to work on it.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:40 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • You are fantasizing about the other man. He is like an outlet of sexual arousal for you. He is taboo so you get excited by his appearance and the way he looks at you. But again this is all in your head and you need to work on your hubby and realize that it is for better and for worse. You are now going through tthe worse but you can make it work it you work hard enough.Stay away from the church man.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 12:44 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • You already answered your own questions .. You and your husband are just going through the motions and pretending like everything is okay when it's not. You haven't solved any problems and you haven't resolved any issues. This other guy is nothing more then a fantasy. Something to make you smile when your marriage may not be able to do that. I think you need to sit down with your husband and resolve some of these issues. Otherwise they're just going to get worse and it'll end in one nasty divorce.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:46 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Do "the love dare"!!! I promise you its life changing and marraige changing!!! and stay away from that other man you are t hinking about....far away!!! Even if you have to change churches! Myaybehavea private conversation with your pastor about it, or some kind of godly counsel:) Things can get better and will if you completely trust God to change it :)
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 12:47 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • If you are in to Church that much then you should already know that in the Bible it states that if you lust after another even just in your own mind you have already cheated. I have always been told the devil goes to Church, and it is true. So therefor maybe you need to revaluate your situtation. IF you go to Church because you believe in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and not just to mend things, then maybe you need to do a lot of praying and talkto your preacher because according to the Bible you have already cheated. IF things are so bad to where you have to lust others to be with your own husband, then maybe you need to divorce and be single and I surly hope this other man is not married. I don't think it would be right for his wife (if he is married)to have another woman lusting after her husband when she can't even fix what is wrong in her life. Mabye you really need to figure out where your mind and priorites need to be
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 12:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • It could all just be a part of winter time blues! 13 years and going to church and all that says that you all are a family that is trying to hold it together. Everyone gets in a slump sometimes. Keep the fantasy in your head and out of your panties and you should be fine! :))
    QueenAdeela

    Answer by QueenAdeela at 1:17 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • it's only Lust for the other man. you're just living in moment of fantasy.
    diamondsarecool

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 1:40 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

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