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2 Bumps

What's normal? Sometimes I think I'm overbearing or asking too much...

Is it too much to ask your spouse when they'll be home? Do you get upset when they aren't home when you were expecting them or even later than that?
For example, my husband had school today from 9-2. It takes him about 15 min to get out of the campus and another 30-45 to get home depending on traffic. So I don't usually even think about him being home until 3 rolls around.
It's 4:15 right now and he's not home. I'm here with the kids....I have been all day. I don't mind. But What bothers me most, is he just does what he is going to do. If he has something to do, it's not "I should let my wife know what's going on at least"....it's just go and do when he's not home.
I am the total opposite. I believe it's out of respect to let him know where I plan on going, and when I come back....to ask if he has anywhere he needs to be for church, school, work or otherwise.
So, this has pretty much always been a problem and I've expressed my feelings MULTIPLE times about it...it always reverts back to me waiting, wondering....and waiting some more.
Any ideas? What's normal between you and your husband or s/o?

Answer Question
 
CABlonde

Asked by CABlonde at 5:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,134 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • For the record though....he's not doing anything shady...he always lets me know AFTER the fact. This is just soooo frustrating!!!
    CABlonde

    Comment by CABlonde (original poster) at 5:23 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I am going through the same thing. I don't mind but it would be nice if he would just let me know he is gonna be in a little later.
    mommyof2_1989

    Answer by mommyof2_1989 at 5:27 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • frustrating.
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 5:29 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • DH always lets me know if he's going to be late, its just respectful, you know? I'm sorry, that would be really frustrating.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 5:33 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • No, it's not too much to ask that he let you know if he's going to be late. I deal with that. I've talked with him about it and it does no good. It's beyond frustrating for me becuase mine has done shady things in the past. I think it's unbelievably disresptful but he thinks there is nothing wrong with it. It's something that has been reinforced his whole life. When I start working again though, things will change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • My DH is pretty predictable. When he is a little late it is usually cause he stoped by the store to get bear, stuff like that.
    I say do the same thing to him as he does to you. And stop waiting for him. Do not cook, or if you cooked. Eat and put it all up in the frig. Tell him you did not know how late he was going to be.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:41 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I think that's is where me and my SO have good communication, he works from 6am-4pm everyday and if he is going to be running late he will send me a quick text or email! and we always tell each other if we have something planed
    patsymay84

    Answer by patsymay84 at 6:04 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Not to much to ask at all, he should be more respectful....
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 7:03 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

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