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Don't know what to think or do!

What would you do in this situation?

My SO and I have been dating for quite some time now and we had a falling out so I packed my things and moved in with my sis, which lives 45 mins away in another town, while I'm gone "so we can both clear our heads and think" he goes and sleeps with a fried of his whom he use to date and has known for years! To make an incredibly long story short, I came back home and we talked things out and then the next morning I go through his cell phone and that is how I found our they slept together! He has NEVER done nething like this before and I don't think he will do it again, but I never expected it from him in the first place! I don't know what to think or do, now I have trust issues!

If he don't answer his phone I immediately get mad and suspect something, or if we have a slight argument I'm afraid of loosing him!!! I'm scared and love him to death I don't want to loose him!

Answer Question

Asked by patsymay84 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,935 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • O i also made him change his cell phone number it's just childish I know, but now I am insecure and think my body and our sex don't satisfy him or he would of never strayed to this other girl! Who I might add is very attractive and skinnier than me!

    Comment by patsymay84 (original poster) at 5:50 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • If someone truly wants to work it out, they would not have slept with another person. Just like if they want to really work it out, they would not pack up and leave either.

    You are both at fault here. You left, he had free reign to do what he wanted. You came will have to decide if that's what you want to do for the rest of your life. At the first sign of trouble, will you leave? Will he go off to someone else's bed?

    You both need to have a serious talk about this and decide just how serious you are about working thru this. If you both cannot commit, you may as well move back out. At some point, you will have to let it go (about the sex). Since you moved, I'm sure he thought it was over and he could do whomever he wanted.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:52 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • oh honey, i am sorry to say my opinion, but he has probably done it before and will continue to. if he really wanted to work things out he could have waited for sex until you where back together or completely broke up. been there done that. i have seen it so many times. i could be wrong, i hope not. good luck dear

    Answer by Dianakk at 5:52 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Well, he's still with you, right? To be completely frank, it was probably just sex.

    Answer by McErin48 at 5:53 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • First of all, you should have never left in the first place. You can not fix things seperated. JMO. I have never understood why you ladies go through you SO/DH's phones? I have never done that.
    Second,,, Once a cheater always a cheater.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:53 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • What I would think is that maybe this is not the first time, and that he may do it again if times get tough again. What he proved is that you cannot trust him. You are not being paranoid for not trusting him. If he wants this relationship to work, both of you need to go to therapy and re-establish trust....He needs to do some changing.......and frankly that is not an easy thing to do and it is a long hard road, not like in the movies.. If it were me, I'd get out of the relationship before I devote to muc h time just to have it end later......That being said, that is what I WOULD DO.......You need to decide what you want to do and go from there.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 5:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Many men grieve a break up by finding comfort with someone who understands and welcomes them. learn a valuable lesson. work out the issues without, I repeat without, leaving bc men think that you leaving them gives them permission to go to someone else even if just for a night. So, you brought that one on yourself. You gave him the opportunity and now you are mad at him and have trust issues. See how that doesn't even make sense? Be responsible. Be mature. Work things out by talking not by leaving him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:54 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • That saying once a cheater always a cheater is soooo false. I know from experience! I have cheated in the past w/ex's and would NEVER DO IT TO HIM!!!

    Comment by patsymay84 (original poster) at 5:55 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I have a hard time seeing that as cheating. You took off, he got horny. If you stayed it would have probably been the two of you having make-up sex.

    Answer by McErin48 at 5:55 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I agree with Louise2 on the first part. I do not agree on the last part.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:55 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

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