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3 Bumps

Why does this girl behave the way she does? adult content

I know a friend who has a 13 yr old daughter. She was raised in church and disciplined well. Her parents are Christian and desperate to know how to deal with her recent behavior. They have caught her looking at porn on the internet, bullying other girls from school, and most recently exposing her body to random male friends. They are devastated. What is going on? What can they do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 PM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (24)
  • It sounds like she is rebelling - I would take her to a counselor, one not affiliated with the church.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:30 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Sounds like puberty and the rebelous stage to the extreme side. Just because she goes to church and was raised "right" doesn't make her exempt from bad behavior. I would just say the parent are going to have to go on strict and lock down on certin things. Also have they tried to talk to her to find out WHY she is doing this stuff? Kids act out when they cant or dont know how to express themselves (usually). They can always try counsaling if she won't talk to them. Possibly family counsaling.
    MamaWolf1981

    Answer by MamaWolf1981 at 7:32 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Is it possible something happened to her? That is a pretty radical turn around. I agree w/ Scuba - they need to get her to a therapist or counselor.
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 7:32 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I believe she is rebelling. Honestly, I grew up in a Christian home. It was very strict and we were in church all the time. I'm sorry but too much of anything is a bad thing. It caused myself and all of my siblings to rebel and hard because of the fact that the Bible was jammed down our throats for years. I agree with the first answer. Take her to counseling that is not affiliated with the church. Also, if they respond by drowning her in church she'll rebel harder. I hope this helped!
    katie0505

    Answer by katie0505 at 7:33 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • seems like something is wrong. Maybe shes trying to get attention. Sometimes kids to bad stuff just to get attention cause other wise they dont get it or enough.
    The parent should talk to here see whats going on, Ask her why shes doing this stuff. Shes way too you to be having sex. Maybe she hangs with the wrong friend at school or afternoons?
    LittleBirdFly

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 7:34 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Maybe the answer is in the question you asked- Church and discipline are not a magic bullet- you can not just go to Church and be good at telling you kids "No" to ensure carefree teen years- you need to connect with your children, talk with them about how THEY feel and think to truly understand and reach them-
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 7:48 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • "She was raised in church and disciplined well. "

    OP, this is not meant to bash, but I believe that may be the problem. If the parents are strict (and I am only making an assumption that these parents are, so correct me if I am wrong), and they only discipline and don't guide a child, the child usually ends up rebelling. Parents need to do more than discipline, they need to talk to their teenagers. Better yet, they need to talk with their kids about things from a very early age, so that come teenage years the child is willing to discuss issues with the parents. Your friends can start by trying to talk to her and find out what's going on. If they can't find out what's bothering the girl, then I suggest a counselor (a non-religion based one) to see what they can do for the girl.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 8:11 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • She opened the door to the demonic ... and it snowballed from there. She needs prayer and to know she is loved... I would venture to say that she has a low self esteem of herself, does not think she is loved and her parents may not know how to show this through their faith. Religious based homes have more problems than grace based homes. I have seen the difference and its huge.
    Shaneagle777

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 8:33 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • She is rebelling, probably from an overly strict environment.  The sexual misconduct is probably a result of natural curiosity and a lack of education.  I'm also willing to bet that she feels bullied by her parents which is why she bullies others who are weaker than she is.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 11:02 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I'm not sure why Shaneagle's reply was downvoted, since it wasn't rude (I voted you up!). I agree that looking at porn is opening doors to the demonic. The sexual behavior sounds like teenage rebellion, but the bullying doesn't sound normal. I would try to find out if something has happened to her.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:43 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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