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4 Bumps

He don't want to have sex but wants to masterbate?

Ok this morning before work I tried to have sex with my fiance and he said he wasn't in the mood so I said okay maybe tonight. I left and headed to work about 5 minutes later and I forgot something came back home not being gone but like 10 minutes and find him masterbating he lies and says he wasn't but his heart was pounding and the floor had a wet spot and i'm not going to lie I smelled it and yep it was cum. Then he got all mad and said so what if I masterbated. I said thats not the probleme its that your not wanting to have sex with me lately but you want to do this it makes me feel like you don't want me. Do you ladies have this probleme?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jan. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'd be more pissed off that he nutted on my floor. How gross.

    Answer by dmdblleb at 7:50 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Yes, and I don't understand it myself I really thought i was the only 1 w/ this problem thank you for sharing Unfortunately he doesn't yet know that I found out or even noticed 6yrs we've been together and I noticed it our2nd or 3rd yr he still doesn't know. Thank you for sharing

    Answer by GabsterMum at 7:53 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • It would upset me! I have had that done to me and it didn't feel good. Better yet, not only did I come back home within the 10 minutes, to him doing that, but it was to porn as well when he told me he wasn't "in the mood." I was mad and told him exactly what I thought and that is how he could have sex from now own because it wasn't with me. Up to this day I don't know why he did all that for that period of time but it took a lot for him to lay with me again like that, and most of all to trust him.

    Answer by AmI88 at 7:56 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I am the one that masturbates too often and doesn't want sex.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I've had the same thing happen to me. My ex husband used to get it from me all the time if he initiated. Every time I initiated he turned me down. It got real disheartening. So one day I tried to have sex with him he turned me down. I left to run some errands, but I forgot my list. I came back not even five minutes later and he was ducking into the bathroom with a porno. HORRIBLE! He was addicted to that stuff. It didn't matter how much sex I gave him he still masturbated. It's more than likely not an issue with you but with himself.

    Answer by katie0505 at 8:06 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Pornography is a real addiction, and it can be a relationship killer. If he is already so addicted to porn that he'd rather jerk off to other ladies than have sex with you, you need to break off the relationship.
    I know it's hard, since you're engaged and have probably been together a long time. But he has chosen cyber women over you, and nothing YOU can do will change that. You can't imagine how many women have this exact same problem, and it never goes away on its own. HE will have to make the decision to get counseling, password protect the computer from himself, and be open and honest with you about his addiction. Give him a week to make up his mind (don't give him an ultimatum, like you'll leave. Just tell him you want to know if he's willing to get help). Then, if he doesn't make a good decision in a week, drop the bomb and leave, and don't go back. Ever.
    Good luck.

    Answer by MariAnKenobi at 8:13 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • Can you just sit down with him and have a calm conversation about what's going on? Maybe he wanted to just get off but didn't feel like having sex? Definitely something ya'll should discuss - he hurt your feelings.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:22 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • I would just ask him "What is the reason for why you are masturbating instead of having sex with me?" Tell him how it made you feel

    Answer by 1911 at 9:04 PM on Jan. 25, 2011

  • The answer is simple: It's easier!

    Don't be upset. This has nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. If you go to him and just say that you understand that sometimes he just wants to rub one out to clear his mind, he's probably going to fall down and kiss your feet in gratitude for being cool about it.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:39 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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