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daughter in laws? Son's significant girlfriends?

How is your relationship with your dil? My son has been dating the same girl for a long time and at first they were just young kids, but now they are older. She drives me batty sometimes and has issues but I have come to love her like one of my own. The problem is she isn't mine and she isn't a little girl anymore and who knows if they will stay together or not. How do you relate to her now that she is older? Torn about getting too close.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (6)
  • my "baby daddy" & i never married but are currently living together w/ his parents. i can't say i expect this to last long. but the hardest part of our "future breakup" will likely be walking out on his mom. she's always been kind to me, understanding even when disapproving, loves my daughter, etc. we're very close, but that'll have to change if i were to move out since i know her son & i aren't gonna end on good terms. it's very depressing.

    Answer by jus1jess at 3:09 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

  • I guess I am lucky - I ADORE my DIL! Even before the kids got married, when they were in HS - she traveled across the state with me and my daughter to go to a state wrestling tournament that my sone was in. It was a great weekend. Just months before the marriage she travelled for 8 days in a small car with my daughter (9) and I to see "the boy" graduate from Basic Training. We had a crazy, fun, at times heartbreaking trip going to see him, spending 2 days on the road with him (with them sharing their own motel room - that was a little weird for me) and then leaving him at his AIT station. It really brought us close and it was good to see how much she loves him and how hard it was for her to leave him behind. Made it really easy for me to welcome her into our family New Years Eve!

    Answer by jjandjsmomma at 12:13 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Speaking as a former DIL and as a MIL to be... I am encouraging my daughter to try and form a good solid relationship with her future in laws and I have am building a friendship with my future son in law. Its harder with them because they aren't very sure about them being engaged but here is hoping for happy endings. - His dad is taking them to lunch and the movies today.

    Answer by MysticFerret at 4:13 PM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I'm not much help as my dil and I don't get a long too well. There has never been words spoken to that affect, and maybe that's the problem. I'm not even sure why she doesn't like me:) Try to keep your lines of communication open. Remember, they are a couple now. It is their home; it is their decision about how and where they live, and if they have children, they are their children, not yours. If they ask for advice, give it gently. And maybe not everything you have all pinned up inside for years! Baby steps. I would love to like my dil. I love her as she loves my son and he is happy. But I don't like that the only time she is nice or communicates with me is when they are preparing to come home, or around the holidays and her birthday. Seriously - could you handle that year in and year out?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • My son was married to a total psycho . He has filed for divorce and is now living with the firl from work I introduced him to. I LOVE her as much as my own daughters

    Answer by WAganma56 at 2:26 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • I understand that you are concerned about getting hurt if they break up..but that's water under the bridge. You are already close enough that if they don't make it, you will be hurt.
    My best advise is to be happy that you and she have such a great relationship and continue to grow and nurture it. Check out some of the MIL/DIL boards here and you will realize just how blessed you are.

    Answer by companygoddess at 12:07 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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