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remarried mama's

Were you scared of letting another man into your life, your childs? I'm terrified; will he treat my son the same even if we have a biological child? will he end up being my ex all over again? will he wake up and realize that I'm a mom, I'm not cool anymore, I'm not exciting, my child will always come first....I can't seem to stop stressing over these questions and more. Help! how did you come to grips with it? How did you decide to let him into your child's life? And WHEN did you let him meet your child? did you 'just know' (I have a bad track record with men obviously, so I'm not sure how much I trust my gut)? Any advice you have would be really appreciated, I know there's alot of questions on here.

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gypsymama532

Asked by gypsymama532 at 12:04 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,932 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I wasn't scared at all - my DH treated me so well from the moment we met, I knew he would treat my children the same. We dated for about 6 months before he met the kids, we both just wanted to take it slow (he has two children as well), see how our relationship progressed. We've been married for 6.5 years :)
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 12:07 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • First of all see on limited "play dates" at the movies, Chucky Cheese, the Park, Ice Skating, Snow ball fights, baking cookies...how acts with your child. If he is Excellent with your child, he will melt your heart and elevate your fears.
    That's when you know "he's the one".
    My guy is GREAT with my son...but I was uncertain at first too but the more I watched him with my boy..the more certain I became.

    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 12:11 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Same as Scuba for me. I just knew we were meant to be together, he has completely accepted my son, he knows that my son and the son we are going to have come first and he wouldn't have it any other way. We have lived togther for 4years now so when we get married (in a year) we will both know exactly what we are getting ourselves into and what we expect. My fiance and I both agree that we will do WHATEVER it takes to make this marriage work. Knowing exactly what you want and expect out of your marriage helps not be scared.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:13 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Yes I was scared for me, my children and for him and his children. It took some adjusting to, but it all worked out just fine. He treats my children better then their own Father does.
    tracylyn245

    Answer by tracylyn245 at 12:16 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • it took me 10 yrs to remarry after my divorce just because I was overly worried about the right guy...I always knew the beginning of a relationship in a "honeymoon" phase and was aware that after that phase real life settles in...I knew I did not want a man with small children because he would have child support..also the man had to be aware that he was not going to meet my kids in the first 2 months of our dating, that they were seperate from my dating life.
    I finally met my current husband when his own kid was 18 and he came from a huge family.
    alotleft2do

    Answer by alotleft2do at 12:38 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • my son was a baby-just turned 3 when we started to go together. His father abscen from his life, so he took well to my then boyfriend now hubby. my second husband is way more of father to my son than his real dad.
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 12:52 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • here is a little advice... dont only look at your s/o.. look at his family also.. and judge them for them. if you realize they are fake in other aspects of their life.. they are more than likely fake in this one.. my husband and his family took my daughter as their own.. my husband still does.. his family seems to show favoritism toward our son.. it breaks my heart because she looks at them as her grandparents/uncles/etc and they show more attention..etc.. toward her brother and she doesnt deserve that. i should have realized since they are all fake asses in other relationships that they were just fronting to make me think they wouldnt treat her differently.
    Ross2010

    Answer by Ross2010 at 12:59 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I didnt get into a serious relationship until my son was 16. I divorced his dad when he was 4. I felt that my child was the most important thing in my life and I needed to finish my job with him first. I had my time when he was with his dad to date and have fun.
    shivasgirl

    Answer by shivasgirl at 2:10 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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