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2 Bumps

How have you balanced attention " Bio Children VS Step"

How have you balanced attention to ensure 1) Your own children don't feels slighted 2) Step children don't feel excluded?

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SLS2011

Asked by SLS2011 at 1:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • My aunt has 4 of her own children and 2 step children. They got married 10 years ago. I love what they do. Everyone is treated the same in her and her husband's home. They can't controll will happen with the other parents but no one person gets special treatment there, everyone has chores to do while they are there, equal, according to their age. When they go on vacation, everyone is invited , Christmas, everyone gets the same amount. This has often meant taking less expensive vacations to make sure they can pay for everyone even though his children will also go on a nice vacation with their mom. My aunt says it's about making everone feel like they are part of the family, that's all that matters
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:23 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I treat all the kids the same. We all go on vacation together, I'll pick up special things for them for no reason, they all have chores and the same rules. (age-appropriate).
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 1:33 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I have 3 kids from a previous marriage and 2 with my husband (he didn't have any when we married). He spends just as much time, if not more, with my older kids than he does his bio kids. Everything is equal - same money spent, we go everywhere as a family (unless it's somewhere like an amusement park where it makes more sense to leave the baby with family), same amount of chores, etc. We keep things as equal as possible, taking ages into account. My kids don't feel any inequity from my husband. They are confident and secure in knowing that he loves them as much as he loves his bio kids.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:53 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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