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3 Bumps

What would you do??

I have lived my life with very little contact with my father. He has been in my brothers life, but not mine.I have given him a bunch of chances to be part of my life, and have gotten my heart broke every time. Recently though, he has got a Facebook and added me as a daughter. I wasnt sure how to feel about it, then he started to message me. We have talked a few times since and he is now saying he wants to be in my life, that he loves me, that he can't wait to be part of my new life.
What would you do ladies, do I give him year another chance??

 
LoneStarMommaD

Asked by LoneStarMommaD at 3:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (340 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I have been in your shoes. I gave my dad so many chances it hurt. I got left again every time. It is hard to have your dad walk out once, after the 16th time it just leaves you in a spot you do not want to be in. My father like yours also got back into one of my siblings lives and did not try to get back into mine. It is hard because you always want your parents approval and love. It hurts bad when they turn their back and walk off. It can even make you question what is wrong with you. You need to look at yourself and ask if you are strong enough to handle it if you let him into your life and he walks out again. He may not, but you have to be able to handle it if he does. If you are and you want to give him a chance knowing he may walk out again than best of luck, but if him walking out on you again is something you can not handle than you need to keep him away.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:13 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would give him another chance, but I'd take it slow. It sounds like he has hurt you quite a bit, he needs to earn a relationship with you. Best of luck.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 3:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • To me i think it depends on why you cut him out in the first place...after what my father did i would never give him another chance...its up to you if you think he is not still the same man you chose to cut off contact with then go for it! I hope it works out for you!

    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 3:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Ditto. I have been trying to have a better relationship with my dad lately, and although it's going slow, it's very nice :)
    Neelah

    Answer by Neelah at 3:19 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • i totally agree with momof1 it totally depends on the reason u cut him out in the 1st place. u have mentioned that u gave him many chances in the past but he broke your heart over and over again;; hmmmm call me cautious but he might have an allterior motive. i think that any parent who is not a part of their child's life is a loser.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 3:44 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • He cut himself from my life actually. He chose drugs over my mom, than he didn't wnat to see my brother or me for a while. After we were about six, he wanted to be in my brothers life but not me. I just recently, like after I got married, wanted into my life.
    LoneStarMommaD

    Comment by LoneStarMommaD (original poster) at 4:15 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Be cautious and assume it might not work out. Then anything positive is a bonus! See him on your terms only. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 6:31 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • i always believe in giving another chance.... he could have changed.

    my dad never had much to do with me and my brother not because of drugs but women. when he hit 50 he suddenly wanted to be a dad to us. now i live in a different state and we don't talk to much. but once in a while
    oldfashionSAHM

    Answer by oldfashionSAHM at 8:32 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would give him another chance but set some boundaries. Don't just jump in head first.
    doodlepossum

    Answer by doodlepossum at 8:46 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • its easier to reach out to others in form of an email,text. your father probably just feels more comfortable reaching out to you this way. is he now off drugs? if you feel comfortable connecting with him then start off slow. sounds like he might be trying to make amends. he might never be able to be a "father figure" to you but he can be a friend.
    lillie70

    Answer by lillie70 at 10:20 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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