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4 Bumps

Crazy PTA moms....and I'm a PTA mom

although I don't think I'm crazy. I'm an officer in our PTA (reluctantly) and am becoming so sorry I said I'd do it. The majority of the women (only a couple of men) are nice, well-intentioned though cliquey and are in it to improve the school. There's some ego involved for everyone, but there is one woman who just constantly causes problems. She's great at fundraising, but can be really nasty & she needs way too much attention for everything she does. And the principal seems to love her, but that's because she's only sweetness w/ her.

Anyone have similar experiences? How do you deal with someone toxic in this situation?
I've avoided PTA always because of this, but now I'm in the middle of it!


Asked by sweetpotato418 at 7:40 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 19 (7,958 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I joined the PTA thinking i was going to understand and know more about my child's school. LOL. It's all about the fundraising. Now, i stay, b/c a lot of the fundraising does go to help the kids and school (pta pays for school field trips, classroom equipement, etc.), but i get frustrated by 3 main things. 1.some of the women complain to no end about how much work they have to do (such maryters), but when you offer help, they don't take it. 2.they are stuck in their fundraising ways, and don't want to hear new ideas, or hear when people don't like a certain fundraiser. 3.i hate it when the fundraiser overshadows a school event. they try to put too much into one night. either it's a school event FOR the kids, or it's a fundrasing event for the school. trying to combine events turns some people off,and therefore they don't participate at all, and the kids miss out on the event. ya, they're kinda clique-y too.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 10:05 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Bahaha yeah I have. I have been in PTA and an officer off and on since my kids were in elementary and middle school. There is ALWAYS one or two that way. I usually just try and grin and bare it. Over the years I have learned how to be so sickly sweet to those sorts with a smart ass tone (hard to explain). So lets say they say something like "Oh I single handedly raised X amount of money, it was so hard/easy etc etc". I will say "Oh congrats! Who knew you had it in you?".

    Answer by gemgem at 7:45 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I have so "been there, done that". My issue was always how they "talked to death" their ideas and topics, as if they were overly pleased by the sound of their own voices, droning on and on and going in circles. I was always much quicker to the chase; it's how I functioned in the corporate world and it was much more effective than the nonsense they were spewing. It took FOREVER for them to make decisions and then they were always second-guessing themselves. It was so wishy-washy and I had absolutely no patience for it so I removed myself from any planning events and signed on on a strictly volunteer basis (laughing on the inside the entire time at their incompetence). I'm sure they meant well but the execution was pathetic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:59 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I've attended one PTU meeting, and will never do it again. Unfriendly and rude. I now know why they have a hard time with parent involvement.


    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:20 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Ugh. I quit the PTA (Actually a PTO in our school district) because of some of the women. Everything they did seemed to benefit themselves, and then the school. (Example - they did an Avon fundraiser, the woman was the rep.) I mentioned something to the principal about better ways to fundraise that weren't so self-serving (and would make more money for the school), she said that "Mrs so and so is in charge, talk to her." Unbelievable.

    Off my rant now :) Regardless of how you think the principal views her, I would call her out (privately) about her actions. People like that are why people don't join the PTA, or join and then quit.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I have always wondered if it was just our school. I wanted to be involved up to my head in PTO last year, I'm a stay at home, and I had all kinds of time. Well needless to say, i won't volunteer now. It was much worse than high school, and they aren't there for the kids no matter how much they preach that they are. I always wondered why they didn't have more help from the parents..Now I know and I just stay away. It's a shame that you get parents who are only out for themselves involved in things that could be so great if everything had to be anon. NO ONE should get credit for stuff that needs to be done for the kids...and when the credit needs to be given to someone it should be given to the kids.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 8:29 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I withdrew from the PTA board after 3 years. I still "join" the PTA as a member, but it's really just contributing our $60 for the membership and staying out of the fray! PTA is so much like CafeMom...

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:36 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I have been a member as a school professsional. I opted out of my son's private school PTO because it was very snobish. But next year I will join. My son goes to a very small school so the PTO has a lot of input as well as "they" the PTO members prefer you to be at the school for two years before serving on any position. I don't really care about it too much because ultimately the owner of the school will do as he wants. Next year I hope to transfer my son to a public program where I will join. Really, just so I can appear the involved parent. I worked with teachers who bad mouthed "univolved" parents.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:37 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Thankfully our PTA isn't too crazy, but I have friends whose schools do have crazy PTA moms. I joined our PTA to keep the numbers up and to make my 'financial contribution'. But I told the woman when I signed up "I will join, but I do not have time for fundraisers, so please don't call me" lol She promised not to and so far she hasn't.

    Answer by slw123 at 6:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2011