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My oldest child movDed out this weekend. Any suggestions to make transistion easier. ad has been there everyday unpacking and cooking. I think I am doing better than he is.

Dad has been there everyday unpacking and cooking. I think I am doing better than he is. Son is working full time and dad says he is just helping.

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hals6565

Asked by hals6565 at 8:11 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Maybe you should convinced the guys that it's better if your son comes home for dinner a couple times a week, than having dad there every day.

    Ask Dad whether he thinks that your son cannot take care of himself, and when he says, of course he can, ask him to let him prove it by not helping so much.

    You can compromise and say, we'll visit on saturdays and help him clean, if it needs it. Pack up some meals and freeze them, and put them in your son's freezer, so he has something to eat while still being "independent" (That's what my mom did with my brother)

    Your son needs to chance to prove himself, if he wanted/needed the daily help he would've probably stayed home.
    Dalimonster

    Answer by Dalimonster at 8:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Have you set up a steady family night? I think Sunday dinner is good. Then afterwards everyone plays a game or watches a movie. That way everyone knows it is an expected occasion & looks forward to it & schedules around it. It makes the transition easier because you know that you will see each other.
    Verrine

    Answer by Verrine at 8:21 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • sunday dinner is a great idea. as the oldest child who moved out of my home, i got bored and lonely a lot. when my mom came by to visit and just hang out for coffee, i felt really good and very proud of my new pad. frequent visits are good :) AND BRING FOOD AND TOILET PAPER LOL
    shilohsmama425

    Answer by shilohsmama425 at 8:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • It is hard to let go, but it doesn't have to be all the way, keep in contact regularly and be part of their independence, without meddling too much!

    older

    Answer by older at 9:54 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • You and Dad need to agree on ONE night a week where your son either comes to you OR you go over to your son and have a family night. Otherwise....Dad needs to step back and refocus his attention on to you. Now is the time to renew your relationship, date nights, nice dinners at home, movies on the sofa snuggling.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:36 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • it's your first to leave the nest
    first born
    first in every thing
    dad needs to let go yes once week dinner would be great or just call
    it will be hard on him but he can do it
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 1:18 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Stay out of it. Let the son grow up.
    MLM247

    Answer by MLM247 at 7:35 PM on Feb. 3, 2011

  • It can be hard on the father too. He needs to work on giving his son some space. good luck.
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 10:59 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

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