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My son is 15 and has gotten his girlfriend Pregnate. We have good relationship with the father of the girl but not the mother.How can I help without overstepping. I am at a loss my son wants to be in his sons life and we are happy that he is stepping up as much as a 15 year old can.I am so lost and my husband might be getting a way better paying Job out of state what do I do

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lisasouthern1

Asked by lisasouthern1 at 9:54 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • thats a tough one to call..im not in that situation with my teen yet so i dont know..
    FreeSpriT4eva

    Answer by FreeSpriT4eva at 9:56 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Make sure that the father knows that you are willing to help, and that your son is willing to step up as best he can. I wouldn't worry about the potential out-of-state move until it happens - bottom line is that you have to do what's best for your family even if it means moving away. I'm so sorry - I can't imagine going through what ya'll are. Best of luck to all of you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:57 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would say now is NOT the time to move out of state. I would say, Im not too sure what your question is, but is your son getting to see his son? If not, then court may be in order....he will need to get some sort of part time job so he can at least help with the little things. DONT think you are "overstepping" this is your grandchild, you have every right to be involved and in this childs life as the mothers family does. Good Luck.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 9:59 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Thank you I agree that I have to do whats best for my Family. The dad knows and is stepping up for his daughter as well. This is not what I wanted and hoped for my son. But her mother did not think them being alone in her house was a problem so here we are.I hope none of you have to go through this.
    lisasouthern1

    Comment by lisasouthern1 (original poster) at 9:59 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Talk with the girl's parents. Talking with them you can find out where they see your role is and where their role is. That will help you both understand what is expected, so you can work something out.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:04 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I understan moving is not a good Idea but the problem there is we have to take a better paying offer for our other children. I am hopeing to be able to work this out. I am close with the girl and am more of a mother to her then her mom is. So my son will get to see his son when he is born in april. But if we move then this will be so very hard. He has gotten a part time job and is helping but most is falling on his dad and I. I have 2 other children that can not suffer and lose out because of their brothers choices. The schools are not good here and my other 2 both have special needs so if we get an offer we cant turn it down. I am loseing my mind. I have no Idea how to handle all this.
    lisasouthern1

    Comment by lisasouthern1 (original poster) at 10:05 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Sorry you are going through this. You never think your child will do something like this in hour home but, remember when your a teen. I did things in my Mom's house when she ran to the store and she thought we were sitting on the couch! And as the mother of a 14 year old I would be in shock if my dd told me she was pregnant and it happened while I was in the house so... She may be having horrible guilt and shock. And as hard as it is for you with a son, the baby comes home with us. Good luck!
    pferg

    Answer by pferg at 10:09 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I know I have a daughter as well. But her mother has said the baby will not come home to her house. So I think she will live with her dad so that will help a lot he loves my son and my husband and I get a long great with him.But she still needs her moms support specialy now. I do not want to cause a problem there. And they were never left a lone in my house I do remember being a teen that is why in my house they were 100 percent supervised.
    lisasouthern1

    Comment by lisasouthern1 (original poster) at 10:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • well being as your son is only 15 he needs you and your husband to help him have a voice. has the idea of adoption entered in any conversations just because they both are so young? of course that would have to be a choice your son and his gf would have to make. either way you have to do whats best for your family and if that means moving it means moving. but this is going to be a very hard time for your sons gf and she is going to need him. i hope every thing works out and the kids make a good choice. just keep things out in the open with the girls father and work together for everyones sake. GL sorry about the situation.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 10:15 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Of course you take the job, and then work out with the girl's father on visitation, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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