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child support

ok, so i was with this guy for over 2 yrs. about 7 yrs ago. he was drunk. no drugs. he would wake up in the morning, drink beer all day, and go to the bar at night. we were both like that actually, i'll admit it. that went on for about a yr. its not right, but we had responsabilities like children or anything, so anyways....he has a daughter, at the time she was 3 i think. maybe 4. well we started getting her on the weekends. one of us had to stop the weekend partying, and do u think it was her father? nope, it was me. anyways, i would take care of her, i did everything. i went to go get her, i dropped her off back home. her father would tag along once in awhile.
that lasted about a yr.
well, oct '04 i had told him, its me or the beer. i was tired of the drinking and partying by then, and i was tired of taking care of his child. i was young and stupid, and would just take care of her enough that she was fed, clothed, and whatever. she would entertain herself the rest of the time. i know, not right, and i regret it now.
so the end of oct i was at a friends house, and he called my cell phone, thinking i wouldn't recognize the number. it was the pay phone at the bar he always went to.
so i went home, packed shit up and he came home. i asked him why he was at the bar and he told me if i didn't like it i could leave. i told him well, look around, the boxes aren't for decoration! long story short, he put me in the hospital. ripped my eye ball open by kicking me in the head, threw me down three flights of stairs, and i broke my foot trying not to fly through a two plate glass door at the bottom. then he used my head as a hammer on the door frame.
i got out, called the cops. he took off.

a week later, i was at my mothers, and he called at about 1:30am. he said he took his father .39 gun and he was at a hotel, and he told me he was going to kill me and then himself. i told him to let me know how that goes and i hung up and called the cops. they went, found him, he was in jail for 2 yrs for having a loaded gun, stolen, and in public.

the only time he has seen his son is when he was leaving the court house in handcuffs, and my son was about 7 months old. he has not seen or talked or anything with my son since then. my ds is now 5. i have full custody, and he has never taken me for visits or anything, no child support was ever in place.
my question is, is it too late to go for child support? should i go for child support? and would he get visitation if i filed for child support?
can i go for child support with no visitation?
is it worth it?
i know this is long, but i really could use the money for my son, as winter is hard here b/c my dh loses a day at work for winter hours, and the money would help with food, and school clothes for ds.

oh i forgot, 4 days after the domestic i found out i was pregnant. and i almost lost ds due to stress.

Answer Question

Asked by mama2bof2 at 10:11 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,326 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Child support and visitation are two different things. He is the father of your child, and should be held financially responsible. It's not wrong for you to ask for child support, I think it's understandable why you waited. Talk to your local child support enforcement agency, and find out what you need to do; you don't have to contact him, they will. Best of luck to you.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • My understanding is he can have the child whether he pays child support or not in the state of Ohio. So I would check the laws in your state to see what they are. You can apply for child support he will have to take you to court to get visitation unless it is written in the child support laws.

    Answer by sassy43082 at 10:23 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • never too late for child support. you will also, more than likley, get back child support for the last 5 years...IF he is as lousy as you say though chances are he will enver pay. and they cant take money outta his check if he dosent have a job or dosnet keep one long enough for the paper work to go through.... GL!

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 10:24 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • i am in ny, and since i have full custody, no visits, he can't just come and take him.....its been 5 yrs, and he hasn't even tried once. so im not worried about him just wanting him one day.

    Comment by mama2bof2 (original poster) at 10:25 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • whether or not he pays child support, he is entitled to visitation. however, you have the upper hand when it comes to that until the court says otherwise. as it stands right now, you can tell him no or control the visits. the same applies even if he pays child support. the only thing that would change it is if the court says otherwise.

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:28 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would not try to go after child support unless you have a restraining order against him for what happened in the past (they can be extended for 10 years or more). After hearing what he did to you I would be fearful of him knowing where I was. Yes it would be nice to have the extra money, but is it worth him possibly finding out where you are his son are?

    Answer by aeneva at 10:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • the last i heard he had a job with the garbage disposal company. ds has insurance through his work. i didn't get it for him, the card just showed up in the mail one and im assuming since ds still has insurance, he still has his job. and he wouldn't have it if he were still drinking. however, i am very leary of going for child support b/c of the visitation, his dd's mother never took him to court, they just told him to pay a certain amount or they would. but im thinking the same thing to just let it go. thanks girls!

    Comment by mama2bof2 (original poster) at 11:09 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Do notcontact him for any child support!! My attorney told me once to just let my ex drift away because if you go after child support he will most likely go after visitation. Why jeopardize your sons safety over grocery money?? kwim? i know its hard to make it without hte money but its best if you just avoid him and hope you never see him again! count your blessings that he isnt going after visitation. He prob wont go after visitation because he doesnt want to pay.

    Answer by ria7 at 1:07 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • ria- what is kwim? i've seen it before, have no idea.
    as for child support for groceries...ummm, so he has food...would be a good reason. but ya'll are right. i think i'll leave it alone.

    Comment by mama2bof2 (original poster) at 1:17 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • kwim~ is know what i mean..Im sure you are feeding him thats not what Im saying. My attorney told me the money I would get would not be basically would only be enough to cover food (jsut a couple hundred a month). She just made the comparision..its risking your childs safety over grocery money.

    Answer by ria7 at 2:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

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