When a lover turns to someone else (an affair) for sex, love, affection, fun or companionship,
this means there is some gap, a weak link between the couple.
Very often an affair fails to meet the "cheater's" expectations, as similar (or much worse) issues come up with the new partner.
This is when the cheating partner realizes his/her mistakes, and goes back to their lover with more love and determination to make things work.
From the victim's point of view: Some times the alleged victim is also responsible for a stray lover. Being unloving, not trying enough, not making love often, neglecting the relationship or one's personal appearance or manners can also inspire their partner to seek love elsewhere. In this case, if the alleged victim sees their partner turn elsewhere, they may begin to appreciate what they had in the first place.
Starting all over can be very rewarding.
at 10:30 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
i was married years back, he cheated, i found out, we "worked" on your marriage, i forgave, built trust again, he cheated again
i left him, we are divorced
happy ending.... we are divorced!!, i am not with the serial cheater anymore, end of story
the affair improved our marriage by finally ending it
at 10:24 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
I have no stories where an affair led to a stronger marriage for the couple. The cheater tried to blame their spouse by saying they weren't there for them or weren't affectionate enough. Those are difficult for me to buy. If there are problems, you talk and work them out or decide to go your separate ways. That is what an adult would do. It's a lousy excuse for a person who cheats and blames their spouse.
at 10:49 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
I hear that if the offender is remorseful and both dh and w work hard and get counseling it can develop into a stronger marriage.
at 10:28 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
btw, that happily ever after thing didn't work for me. My x cheated repeatedly. I didn't leave him over that. I left him over his abusive nature. I'm now happy. That's my happy story.
at 10:29 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
yes... in sept i made out with a man 2 times in our house... i left my SO 2 weeks later and imeditaly started dating another man, which lasted 2 weeks... then me and SO got engaged... its only been a few months< engaged 10-30-10> but our relationship has improved greatly.. sure there are little things that come up but we both realized how much we really love eachother
at 10:40 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
sometimes a marriage where one cheats shows that gap is in marriage
sometimes it is because the cheater is just a cheater and will always be a cheater
mine was the 2nd, and he was abusive too, i think he will always be like that , just the way he is
many abusive men are also cheaters, cheating goes along with abuse amny times
at 10:40 AM on Jan. 26, 2011
There is no acceptable excuse for cheating...
at 9:06 PM on Jan. 26, 2011