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kerosene smell

The last month has been very stressful for me. My mom usually watches my kids while I work or she just takes them cause she wants to visit them. Well I haven't let her take them for the last month cause her husband messed something up and cause it to have a gas leak under their house. The house smells like kerosene. They smell like kerosene. Well last night my mom called and asked if she could have the kids this weekend. My SO (the kids dad) said to my mom well we are going to come to your house to make sure the smell is gone. A few minutes later they have my brother call me and tell me if we have to come there and inspect the place then my kids are not welcome there. I am confused, I am stressed, I am so upset. They are telling me that I am not looking out for my kids and that I am a bad mom. I just don't know what to say to them. My mom don't want to talk to me anymore. I understand she is upset but she still smells like kerosene. Theres so much more I could not let her have them for. But I am just trying to look out for my childs heath. What would you do in this situation?

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mommyof2_1989

Asked by mommyof2_1989 at 10:46 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (347 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • stick to what you feel! they are your kids, not hers. If she really wants to see the kids again she will get over it...maybe shes just throwing a fit for right now cuz shes upset that she wont get to see them this weekend? I'd try to talk to her calmly about it and try to make her understand that its nothing against her, ur just looking out for the kids' best interest.
    KayleesMommy89

    Answer by KayleesMommy89 at 10:50 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • would she understand that ANY person in this situation will get used to the smell and be unable to notice it
    so not that you do not trust her, just that you and husband are concerned for your kids and them
    this is erious situation and a person who does not live there needs to check it out
    anyone would get used to the smell after a while- just a natural thing
    try that??
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:51 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I told her she is used to the smell and she called me CRAZY, I thought my mom was suppose to be there for me and to understand me. She hasn't been. I will tell you I have one messed up family.
    mommyof2_1989

    Comment by mommyof2_1989 (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would call your pediatrician and ask them if there are health risks associated with the smell of kerosene. If they say yes maybe you can get them to print it out so you can show your mom you werent just trying to make an excuse for her not to see her grandkids. My dd I am guessing is your age based on the 1989 and some times doesnt understand I take things very personally when she doesnt bring my grandkids over. I think it is easy for you and your mom to act emotionally, you both love your kids. I am sure your mom loves you no matter what dysfunction you perceive. You just need to SHOW her why you came to this decision.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:57 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • These fumes can be harmful and that is why they say to use in well ventilated areas. Do not let them guilt you into taking them over until they have it cleaned up. It's not healthy for them to be inhaling these fumes let alone children. Your mom maybe upset but your children's well being comes first. These fumes can make them ill with prolonged exsposure.
    mkula

    Answer by mkula at 10:58 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Those fumes are very harmful! Not to mention flammable! Do they even cook in their house? I'm surprised if the smell is that bad the house didn't catch fire when they lit the stove- but that doesn't make it ok by any means. Your mom is defensive- fine. But it's not safe. You would think that she would be looking out for their well being too and be ok with your husband going over to check to see if the smell is gone so they aren't endangering her grandkids!
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:04 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I have also offered for her to come to my home. I have even picked her up a few times and brought her shopping with the kids and I, and even did dinner. I have this feeling its her husband. He hates my sister and I so much. It's like if she is not with him then there is a big deal. Theres so much more to all of this its just so stressful for me. My SO won't talk to me about it cause he said he is tired of my mom's bs.
    mommyof2_1989

    Comment by mommyof2_1989 (original poster) at 11:05 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • While you certainly should be concerned about safety, make sure there is something actually wrong with the property. Gas companies will come out--often for free--on an emergency call. So go alone to your mother's and make the call with her and be with her when the gas company comes out.

    What about personally going over to your mother's with a $15 Carbon Monoxide detector and explaining that you love her very much and you'd be gutted if SHE or anyone else got sick from her house. Say you'd like to help her put the new detector up in her house (at least 20 feet from any gas source) for her safety and the safety of your children when they visit.

    Once safety has been established, there shouldn't be any reason not to let your kids go over...
    GoodyBrook

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:12 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Stick to your guns...Your children's health is on the line.

    Over Thanksgiving this year I was extremely sick. I had been smelling natural gas smell for weeks, but my husband kept blowing me off saying I was imagining it. Finally my little sister came over and freaked out because she smelled it too. I called the gas company and there was a huge leak in our house. I was sick with what I thought was a cold, by the next day I was so sick I had my mom take me to the ER. I am not a person to ever go to the doctor, but I knew I was deathly ill. I had chemical pneumonia from breathing in the gas. I was extremely sick. I read up on natural gas after that and in the research I read that you can get the chemical pneumonia from all kinds of things...kerosene included.

    If your parents want to risk their health, fine... but you are smarter than that. And I would tell my mother exactly that. Your kids health is if the utmost importance.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:14 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would also call in a tip to the gas company that there is a leak at their house. They will go out and inspect it and stop service if it is not fixed. It is sucky when you have to parent your own parents.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:17 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

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