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3 Bumps

baby daddy drama

life hasnt been easy for me and my son. his father has been an asshole. we were together for 2years..when my son turned 1 i decided to move out because me and my babys father were always fighting. he told me he was still gonna give me money for our son. but this so called "man" would just give me $50 a month. just enough for diapers...we fought about it and he stopped giving me money...and i stopped letting him see my son...its been 2years since then and he hasnt paid for anything but yet he still calls every other month to ask if he could see my son my son doesnt know who he is..and it hurts me but he drive me into doing this...and about 2months ago i decided to put him on child support and at first he agreed to pay but then he stopped answering his phone and stopped going to court...and im really think his 40yr old gf but others tell me its him being 21yrs old that has something to do with this...i dont know what should i do somebody please give me advice

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jrsmommy17

Asked by jrsmommy17 at 11:51 AM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (176 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It's him being a jerk, it has nothing to do with his age or his girlfriend. File child support and let them take care of him. The threat of jail if he doesn't pay may make him pay.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:53 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Wouldn't he go to jail if he refused to pay child support or go to court?
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 11:53 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • he moved out of the apartment we were living in i have no idea where he lives or works now
    jrsmommy17

    Comment by jrsmommy17 (original poster) at 11:55 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • My mom had no idea what state my dad was even in when they found him for her. All you need is his name, and the state does the rest for you.
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 11:58 AM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Does he have a real job? If so then keep going to court, eventually the order will be put in place and as soon as they contact his employer they will start taking it automatically out of his paychecks. If he gets tax returns and has an outstanding balance they will intercept his tax returns until his back support is paid off.
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 12:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • court has to order child support and will
    you do not have to ask him to p[ay
    court will make him pay
    go to court, file paperwork with court system, can call local child support agency - they will enforce, will take money out of his checks

    also child support does NOT equal child visitation = separate thing
    keep jouranl of times he said he would show and did not, all calls he has made, any emails= save everything
    if you files for visitation, this journal may help in your favor

    good luck
    my childs father (left in oct) does not seem to have much interest at all, has visited two times since oct 1, and he lives hour and 15 minutes away, even came to town were i am at to have a date with a woman but did not stop to see his daughter=NICE!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • child support and visitation are two seperate things. The court should be the course you should utilize to ensure you get child support and that it is enforced and to be honest if you don't allow him to see the child he can use the court to force you to allow him visitation regardless of the CS, just make sure you get clear guidelines from the court. It seems like the only logical way to handle this is to utilize the court system. It is not about his girlfriend, it is about him and supporting your child. Bottom line is that it all has to do with what is best for the child. It is not for him, for you, or the girlfriend. It is for the child. I wish more people would remember that.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 1:04 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • these are 2 separate issues. your son deserves to know both of his parents, therefore, deserves to have visitation with his father. your son does not deserve to grow up fatherless just because the 2 of you don't get along. your not allowing visitation and your sons father withholding child support because of it, sounds like a tit-for-tat and your son is being used as a tool. do you really want your son to possibly grow up resenting you for this? 2 wrongs don't make a right. if you & he can't handle working these issues out in a civil way for the best interest of your son, then yes, allow the courts to handle them.
    ThankfullyProud

    Answer by ThankfullyProud at 3:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Believe me I know what you are going through, my sons father was over 2 grand behind child support, all they did was take his license away until he found a job, and he still owed support. I think in the state where I live they are more for the fathers rights. My sons father is 25 years old and has a part time job, and refuses to get a full time job so he won't have to pay me more, he pays me 49 dollars a week. That covers no where near my four year old sons expenses. I put out a lot of money on my son (I don't mind at all) But its just the fact that he should have to pay more. I definatly think that if you don't pay child support you shouldn't have the right to see your child, because if you cannot even pay child support why should you get to parent your child?
    ashleypalomba

    Answer by ashleypalomba at 9:40 AM on Apr. 6, 2011

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