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I can't believe this is happening...

Im 4-5 wks pg. Im 21, in my last year of college, my bf is 27 and hes graduating in Dec.Well I want the baby because I'll be graduated when it arrives. My bf and I have talks that go in circles and just end up with us crying, getting mad at each other. He doesn't want this baby. He says we'll never be able to get good jobs & itll derail everything we planned for his medical school and my grad school. He says we won't be able to support the baby. I feel so alone because anyone I tell is going to tell me to get rid of it. I'm an intelligent woman. Id be the best mommy to it. But I can't be. Every1 else is making the decision for me. I feel completely sick to my stomach thinking about it...This would be my 2nd abortion.I know every1 on here is going to reply by saying this is your body, this is your decision but it's not that simple. Without his support, I can't bring this baby into this world.

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LittleMonster22

Asked by LittleMonster22 at 12:23 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • If you have an abortion you will regret it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!! DON"T DO IT!! He will come around eventually! Even if he doesn't, YOU CAN DO IT ALONE!! Don't ever think you NEED a man for anything!
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 12:27 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I was a single mother at the age of 17 still trying to finish high school and really wanting to go to college. If i can finish high school at 17 have a baby befor i graduated and still get through college alone you can do it. Yes its tuff i wont lie but i did and now i have a happy 6year old who will be 7 soon i met a wounderfull man who i married nearly 2years ago and we are now having baby number 2. Its possible to do what you want and if he wont stand behind you then you dont need him.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 12:27 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • First of all you sound like you want to keep this baby and from the way you sound you are perfectly capable of taking care of this baby by your self dont ever let any one make YOUR decisions for you because in the long run you will regret it. Listen this is from the heart ok I am 31 yrs old and have 5 wonderful kids my oldest is 15 and my youngest is 1 month when i got pregnant at 15 my parents told me to get an abortion and i just could not do it cuz you will always have that thought in the back of your head what if? I am struggling in alot of areas but my kids are what keep me going, so please dont get discouraged and take the time to think about what could've or can be,you are highly educated and you can do this with or with out your partner. I raised my first two boys by myself till i met my husbabnd at 21 so please think about this alot and please let me the outcome.
    niki304

    Answer by niki304 at 12:39 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • It sounds like he is using abortion as a form of birth control, that is the utmost last reason it should ever be used. Keep in mind that abortions affect your chances of conceiving later in life, this could possibly be a now or never situation and you don't know it. If this isn't something you or he wanted you both should have used extra precautions to not get pregnant. I had my first dd when I was 18, in my first year of college, she is 8 now and I'm still not finished with my AA, but I have continued to take classes every semester which helped me land a good County job, I make $14 an hr as an Office Assistant (not bad for not having a college degree). You don't need him, it might be rough at first, but you can do it. Stick with it, I'm sure you'll be glad you did. Good luck.
    Mom2SavRynShai

    Answer by Mom2SavRynShai at 12:45 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I think that you are afraid of what the future holds for you if your b/f leaves you without support. You need to get over that fear and defend your child because you want that baby and you'd be a great mom. Life is full of obstacles and if it's not the baby, it will be something else so, I don't support his argument. He might not be ready for the responsibility but it seems like you are.

    I can guarantee one thing 100% though: you will never be sorry for having that baby!
    Avon_Calling

    Answer by Avon_Calling at 12:49 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • you do what youu feel you want to do and not just what he wants you to do. it's your body, your baby, your decision.
    SMWOODS

    Answer by SMWOODS at 12:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Well I had a baby in my sophomore year of college. I'm having another baby in April, and I graduate in April. Guess what? All of my plans on on hold. I am NOT going to be able to go to medical school. I will not be able to do any higher education for a while. But that doesn't mean that I will never go back to school. Your boyfriend has some truth to what he is saying, but I guess the two of you can't see the other's side. DO NOT let someone else tell you to keep or get rid of a baby/pregnancy. I have been in a similar situation as you, and kept the baby. It was the greatest thing of my life. The differences are that my BF supported this 100%, and I was STILL IN college. You CAN do it. A baby is not something that should bring anger and stress, it is a wonderful thing. I hope you will work it out with the BF. Message me Please!!!!
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:32 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I can't say I know how you feel because my fiance(now DH) wanted a baby and was supportive. But it sounds to me like you want this baby. No one can make the decision for you. Don't let anyone try to influence you because you're the one who has to live with the decision. It may be hard, but lots of women are able to care for babies all alone. I agree with some of the other ladies, if you do have the baby, it'll be hard but you won't be sorry. Best of luck to you.
    Paesana82

    Answer by Paesana82 at 2:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and understand the repurcussions of having this baby without the support of the father. It's your baby to keep, that is true, but it sounds like this will be your baby to raise by yourself. Like it or not, men do not have to stick around to help us and you'd be knowingly bringing this kid into the world without a potential father. Sure, he has to pay child support and may or may not want visitation, but you'll be looking at single motherhood. Some advice: whether or not you keep the baby finish school! That is absolutely essential. Grad school can always wait (my husband waited 5 yrs. to go to grad school) but undergrad. is difficult to go back into after all the credits you've earned. This being said, it sounds like you want this baby and will regret an abortion. Do what you need to but remember that it is his baby too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Oh and, I know we are in different situations, but I have 2 under 2 and I'm in nursing school part time. Both times I was prego I was in school. I know a few girls who go to school and work with kids. I guess my point is it can be done if it's something that you want. There are even some jobs that let you bring your baby to work or schools that have daycares. Just don't let anyone else push you into a decision you will regret.
    Paesana82

    Answer by Paesana82 at 2:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

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