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2 Bumps

My boyfriend constantly rubs it in my face that he pays for everything!

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and finished my last day of work yesterday. I pay the gas, electric, cable, internet, home phone, most of the groceries, my car insurance, and my credit card bill monthly. He pays the mortgage, the water bill, and has bought the majority of the baby stuff so far. I had only been working part time the majority of my pregnancy, but still paying all of the bills that I listed above. Now I will be taking about 3 months for the baby. So he will pay all of the bills during that time. Anyways every time we get into a fight he calls me a broke ass and says I don't pay for anything. Yes he has a lot more money than me and has contributed a lot but does that give him any excuse to throw that in my face every time we argue? I'm sick of it! Has anyone else had to deal with this with their SO?? How do I get him to stop?

Answer Question

Asked by Kelli1012 at 1:20 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,591 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • It can be frustrating to be with someone who doesn't contribute but it doesn't sound like you aren't contributing at all so he shouldn't make you feel that way. He needs to understand you are doing all you can. Ask him what he thinks you should be doing that you aren't already.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I hate to say this.. I don't know him at all just by what you have said and he sounds sort of like a jerk, Forgive me.. Like I said I don't know him but. Its just an asshole move for him to keep score like that.. Does he love you? does he tell you he loves you?

    Answer by staciepi at 1:23 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • You could start billing him.

    An average orgasm with a disease-free partner goes in the range of $2-300 unless it's kinky... housekeeping services from legal workers run $10-30/hour... babysitting is at least $15 a day per kid... meals run, what, $8-16 per dish?

    It would be fun, I think --if only so you can see the value of what you do.

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:24 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • YOU are carrrying his child. He needs to grow up and be a man and support you in your time of need right now. I don't care who pays for what in our relationship, we take care of each other, and we don't keep tabs of who does what. We are a family and that's what we do.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 1:25 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • My hubby did that when we got pregnant with first one. I think he just felt pressured that he couldn't provide for us. I think he just wanted to be told thank you alot to make himself feel better. We were young and he was scared.

    Answer by usdragonflies at 1:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Wow that is not nice. Money does not make the relationship. I would tell him that there is the door...He will be pretty "broke ass" when you get him for child support. Isn't it great he makes so much money? Im just kidding that was not a very positive thing to say but it might get him to lay off. Let him know how much you appreciate his helping out with money..but it looks to me like you could easily do it without him. Yes you might be broke but more money will come and you might be happier unless he grows up and unites more with you. A married couple is one..not separated like that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Wow, I wonder how he will act as a father / partner for parenting issues if he's acting like this over the bills... nip this in the butt now because there are bigger issues.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • either get used to him being this way or tell him to find the highway...he is not going to change no matter what you do or say and having a kid is going to add to things.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • @ LindClement - great stuff!!

    I don't think money should be rubbed in your face with a partnership. Do you have joint accounts? If so it has been set up for each of you to use a you must. One day the tables could turn and you may be the one helping him (I hope not)

    Answer by Andriya at 1:27 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • How to get him to stop? Humm..... I personally would not tolerate the disrespect. Maybe point out to him that together
    there needs to be teamwork. Calling names is immature. Working together as a team is progress.
    If your boyfriend continues down the path he is on...calling him hubby in the future would be your blame solely.

    Answer by Dannee at 1:28 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

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