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My son is 22-months old. He is entering his "Terrible 2" stage. Everything is "NO!" He has become very disobedient and has begun to throw horrible temper tantrums. I spank him but I don't want to feel as if I am going overboard. Any advice?

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Asked by JaylonsMommy08 at 12:52 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (10)
  • He is still a bit young for spanking. At that age they dont understand what it means. They just see their parent and "role model" doing it and feel that its ok for them to do it also. It may actually make him more aggressive. Im not saying its bad but he is still to young to get it. Just be firm and consistent with him. And let him have his tantrums. He is still to young to comminucate real well and needs to have that time to get his frustrations out. Try some kind of time out. Even if its strapping him into a booster seat facing the corner. I know its frustrating but it will pass! GL :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Watch Supernanny too! She is awesome and her tactics really work! Ive tried them with my 2 yo and had success! so far that its....... lol

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:07 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I agree, he's too young for spanking. I occasionally spank my 4 year old, but not very often and only for really major infractions. At 22 months, he'll just think hitting is okay if you're doing it, and it's not going to make him stop throwing tantrums - it'll probably make it worse.

    Answer by Abqmomof2 at 1:14 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I would try timeout or counting to 3. I started timeout right before my daughter was 2 and she knows what it means now when I ask her if she wants to go to timeout. She says no and starts being good. Counting didnt start working till recently but now when I get to 2 she starts getting better. I would just make sure you are stern and he knows you are boss. Dont give in too easily. I would only sit her in timeout for how old she is. So 2 min at the most. Then make him say sorry and tell him why he was there in the first place. You will notice it works. :) Good Luck !

    Answer by QTMamma01 at 1:17 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • When he throws tantrums ignore him. he is only trying to get attention. I would try timeouts i give my 2 year old 2 minute time outs when she is misbehaves. I works for a while you just have to be consistent. Just stick to what you say and don't give into tantrums.

    Answer by tinaaly at 1:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I'm not a big believer in spanking. But I know how it feels to have a 2 yr. old who says "NO!" to everything - even when sometimes he means yes. It is normal for children at about age 2 to want to asert their independence. Good for them and bad for us. Our sweet little ones turn into an alien. It does actually get better. Everyone has their own way of coping and everyone thinks their way is best. So I will share my philosopy and if it works for you great. If not, then keep trying until you find something that does. I let him have his tantrums. He can't rule my world, my actions, or my mood. I won't let him. He is in charge of his feelings and actions. I tell him if he needs to cry that is okay. Crying is normal and healthy. It also makes us feel better. But I have the right not to listen to his wild outbursts. So I have the right, after ensuring his safety,

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • walk away. I explain that I know he is sad and frustrated but he doesn't have the right to disrupt others. If he doesn't let me walk away then I pick him up and put him in his safe cozy spot. I use his travel play yard as his safe place. In there he has a blanket and a stuffed animal. I give him a few minutes to cry it out while I go on my own business. I come back and pick him up, hug him, calmly explain what he did that he needed some "personal" time, and then ask him if he is willing to calm down. Even though he just turned 2 - he gets it. He will say in his baby voice, "yes." And he does. When he continues I just put him back to chill for a little while. It is his right to feel bad (frustrated, angry, upset....) and it is my right to not be around outrageous behavior. But I do make sure to talk to him about some ways he can resolve it and I walk him through the steps so he knows what is appropriate.

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:34 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • When he is throwing temper tantrums you should just leave the room (as long as he's safe where he's at) and ignore the screaming. Yes it sucks listening to it but the more you respond the worse he'll behave while he's having a tantrum. Once he's over it I would give him a hug and explain to him about what he did. If he is hitting, biting, throwing things, or misbehaving you should put him in a time-out. At my house the only place that works is my sons room with the gate up. He will not stay in time-out on the couch or a chair because he's too young to really understand it so I have to put him in his room. Good luck Mama, I know how you feel right now, my son is going through the same stage!

    Answer by ilovemylovey at 2:39 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Have a time out or calm down spot. When he throws a fit, take him there and LEAVE HIM. Stay nearby to make sure he stays put but otherwise ignore him. The more you respond to his fits, the more attention you give him, the more fits he will throw. At this age, they don't care if the attention is good (playing with him) or bad (spanking him)... attention is attention. Once he has calmed down from his fit, take him in your lap and use this formula:
    "I'm so happy to calmed down" (Rewarding him for being calm)
    "I know you were mad when I wouldn't let you throw your cars" (Acknowledging his anger)
    "Throwing things inside can break them" (Stating why it's not allowed)
    "Let's go roll your cars instead." (Giving an alternative and rewarding him with your attention)

    Answer by kaycee14 at 5:06 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • My 27-month-old son started hitting and kicking and saying 'NO!' around 20 months. Tried time outs and they made him more mad. I think he really wanted attention and time out didn't give him what he wanted. So this is what we came up with -
    If he hits: Sit on floor with him, hold his hands down, firmly say 'No Hitting!' and count to 20 (# of months old, 27 now). Say again 'No Hitting'. Say to him 'Can you say Sorry Mama?' wait for him to say (or sign) "Sorry" and then kiss and let it go.
    Modify if kicking, or climbing, or being mean, whatever. Held legs for kicks, laid on floor for climbing on table. It is silly.
    When we started this we were 'counting' 12 times a day, and I can honestly say that in the past 3 months I have had to count with him twice. It works for us, is quick to diffuse the situation, he gets attention but doesn't like the restraint. If he doesn't say sorry we start again.

    Answer by SASMommy at 4:13 AM on Nov. 16, 2008

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