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3 Bumps

Livid!!! How would you handle this?? Son forgotten at school.

Schools were dismissed early today due to the snow. As I am a teacher, out school was dismissed early too. I went to the after school center to pick up my child and they had not returned from the school pick up run yet. I waited and they finally returned. The driver (a staff at the center) laughed and said "Sorry it took so long, I accidently left your child and another girl at the school."
Wait.. What!!???
My son has autism. How do you forget to pick up any child, much less one with a disability??!!
I tried to ask my son about it, but he was not very forthcoming--which is typical for him. I tried to call the school, but everyone had already left.
I really want to call the after school center, but I want to be armed with all the information first and I thought the school might be able to give me the facts, as my son is not able to do so.
Would you wait until you get the facts from the school, or would you call the director at the child care center first, even though you don't have all the facts?
My son is 11 years old and usually pretty good, but if he gets upset, anything can happen, so I am very upset.
I am happy he is home safe and sound, and the after school center is normally very good with him, but this should NOT have happened to any child.


Asked by layh41407 at 2:50 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Take a deep breath and deal with it tomorrow. Nothing will be solved today...and your temper is white hot, justifiably. Cooler heads will allow you to handle the situation without blowing up. The minute you lose your cool they turn you off. I'm glad he's safe, but I would wait till tomorrow.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:55 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • you've pretty much summed it up. It should not have happened to any child. I worked in a center years (and years!) ago, and did "van runs' picking up kids from school. We had an attendence sheet, and EVERY child had to be accounted for, every single day. We were legally responsible for this since the parent signed a form stating that we are responsible to pick up the child from school. If we were to forget any child, it would be automatic termination, no grey area. So sorry this happened to you. I would make a formal complaint to the center, and if they don't take you seriously i would call the liscening dept. for child care centers in your city. It needs to be reported so that it doesn't happen to other kids, and parents deserve the right to know these violations.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 2:56 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I'd call the school board and the bus department supervisor and file a formal complaint

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:53 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Screw that, I'd call now because that happened to me and I went up to the school pissed. I kept my composure, but they knew I was mad. I don't think it's funny at all and the driver shouldn't think the ish is funny either. Do you mind me asking what state you live in because my daughter's school closed too, in North Carolina.

    Answer by browneyes27 at 2:56 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I'm not a parent of a child with a disability, so I can't judge your situation. Being a teacher however, I have seen on serveral occasions where children get "left behind" or miss the bus, especially in elementary and jr. high. And with it being an early dismissal there was even more confusion added to the situation. I'd be upset as a parent if I found out my child was forgotten, but if they returned home safe and sound because the error was realized right away I'd probably say something, but I wouldn't chew off someone's head for it. I worked in a school where 2 children with downs were left behind by the buses because it was grandparents day and misscommunication occured with the driver. She thought the students went home with grandparents, the grandparents assumed the children were getting on the bus, both were in the bathroom with para's. The bus came back right away and got them and everyone got home safely.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • OMG! I'd be livid! This has always been a fear of mine with my autistic son. I'd be calling everyone I could think of to bitch them out!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • In my experience, these sorts of thing tend to happen more often when there is a change in routine. Something similar happened to someone I know. Their autistic son was put on the wrong bus and taken to the wrong place. It boiled down to it being a substitute bus driver. The school denied there was a problem. The mom was livid as they denied there was a problem. Give it some time and get all the facts. Let them tell you what happened before jumping to conclusions.

    You didn't say how late they were/how long you son was missing. It could be that the driver realized when he pulled away and went right back. It seems to me that he both realized and admitted his mistake and corrected it. We're all human and make mistakes.

    Answer by JSD24 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Something similar happened with my autisic nephew when he was in 6th grade. Both of his parents were working at a fish processing place and had to use the city bus for transportation. They got off the bus at the after school care and went inside to get him and found out he wasn't there a few hours after he was supposed to be dropped off there. The after school care place didn't even bother to call anyone to find out where he was. His parents freaked out and ran all the way home hoping that he would be there. Thankfully he was, although he was sitting in the back of a police car totally traumatized! The police actually pressed charges against them for some form of neglect and the school admitted that it was there mistake and the charges were dropped.
    What my sister (his mom) did was she made the school review and renew it's bus policy so that there was a person in charge of getting spec. ed kids on the right buses. GL

    Answer by Lornamay at 3:34 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Let them have it!!i know mistakes happen but really...You go girl give 'em hell .

    Answer by grismelda at 4:29 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • When you do talk to the school, I would bring up your concerns of him waiting alone. If you believe your son to be a flight risk, or unable to wait without being watched closely, then there should already be an aid assigned to him to get him on and off the bus. If your son runs from the school and there's no aid assigned to watch him then a whole heap of people are going to be in trouble, including you, his teacher(s) and the school, because flight risk in autistic children is suppose to be addressed at IEP meetings. If you don't think he needs an aid to assist in getting on and off the bus, or just on from school, then you accept what every other parent of a bus rider does, which is knowing schools make mistakes, and children miss buses. I do hope it never happens again though, don't get me wrong. Repeat offenses and I'd be going after someone's job!

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 5:22 PM on Jan. 26, 2011