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How does this effect my daughter?

My ex and I get along well enough. When we're getting along its great and almost like a family. When we're not getting along its come to us just not speaking much to each other, the cold shoulder. Now since we've split up, he's been through two girl friends and our daughter has gotten attached to both of them. He doesn't speak to the first, but he's still hung up on the second.

How is this going to effect my daughter emotionally and her outlook on relationships as she getts older?


Asked by KlieneMutter at 1:13 PM on Nov. 14, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • I have always been honest with my daughter. If we let them try to figure out whats going on they will come up with their own accusations of the situation. I would just tell her the her father is dating and until there is a commitment his friends will come and go. Hope this helps. It did for me and I feel my daughter will trust me later when she really needs to count on me or trust me.

    Answer by ljlM at 1:19 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • He needs to stop bringing home the girlfriends to the little girl until he knows that they are going to be serious she is gonna think it's ok to have multipul partners and is just gonna give her a bad outlook on relationships period!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 1:16 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Well, I can speak from my own parents divorced when I was five. Ever since then, I've had to see both of my parents going through multiple relationship and two marriages (each) other than the one they had.

    I'm not crazy. I don't think having multiple partners is okay. To be quite honest I don't even remember my parents being married to each other at all. I'm not screwed up or promiscuous.

    I think as long as you approach it in a sane way and don't make her dad look like a criminal, she'll be fine. My parents remained on good terms after they split up and I think that's part of the reason that my brother and I turned out okay. She'll at least learn that it is possible for people to be civil, if anything.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 1:21 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • He's not having multiple girlfriends. He was with the firsrt one for a few months, next single for a few months, then with the second for a few months. The second one he lived with, so when he had our daughter for the weekend or w.e. he took her back home with him sometimes. Part of it is that our daughter is a people person and getts attached easily.

    Answer by KlieneMutter at 1:21 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • I will say this. First, he is allowed to date. That's how he is going to find the "right" one. But, I pretty much kept my dating and life seperate from my kids until I knew it was "the one". I do not agree with live-in situations in any case but especially when there are children involved. The best thing you can do is to be open and honest with him about your concerns. Also, do not have "adult" conversations with you child. Your child should never be used as your shoulder to cry on about the other parent. This causes GREAT harm. Never make your child feel as though she should hate the Dad's friends. That causes great anguish to children. A Mom's place in their child's life is never in jeopardy. No matter how many other women Dad has in his and no matter how close the child gets to the other person. Parents are always held dear to children.

    Answer by mommamia973 at 1:58 PM on Nov. 14, 2008

  • Although it is her fathers ex if you feel comfortable with the women you could always still allow the women and your daughter to speek if she is willing. Some would say that is wierd but it's not. If you could speek with the women about just contacting your daughter periodically to talk to her that might help. There is no easy way for kids to deal with this. They have a hard time understanding important people to them coming and going from thier lives. My husband is currently in Iraq and my children have had a difficult time managing what to do without him. I have come up with no answers for them except that he will be back home when he is done working. Over time they have accepted that he is working and when its time he will be back. I think it is because they talk to him about once every couple weeks and they know he is ok.

    Answer by soldierswifeof4 at 11:47 AM on Nov. 15, 2008