Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 Bumps

A vent about feeding our children.

I typically don't talk about this on this site for a reason, but I just want to point something out.... I recently wrote a paper in a sociology class (that I got an A on) that I wanted to share, it's about how difficult the transition to parenthood is, and how there really is no correct way to do anything according to society.

As an example, I wrote about how I nursed my daughter and the feedback I received from society (meaning family,friends, strangers, doctors, and even cafemomers). EVERYONE wanted to say their piece about how I should feed my child and for the most part, NO 2 PEOPLE HAD THE SAME ANSWER. Some people said it's great to see you nursing! Others, specifically my MIL, told me that I was abusing my child because I was starving her, other people just kind of didn't want to say anything and just gave me some looks. I felt that I never knew what to expect and always had my guard up.

For the people that DID support me nursing... after about 6 months, a lot people were kind of like heeeeey don't you think you should stop now? While, when I thought it was time to stop around 10 months other people treated me like I was dirt for not making it another 2 months. WTF!?

I don't know what it's like to exclusively formula feed, but I'm pretty sure you guys go through hell too.

This is why every single one of us, should stick to our guts about what we want for our kids because SOMEONE will ALWAYS tell us we're wrong no matter what. I think it's disgusting that as a society we have to defend ourselves just to feed our freaking kids. Because let's face it, when you become a parent no matter what you do, whether it be feeding your child or disciplining your child, your always wrong. I'm wrong, your wrong, we're all wrong. Thanks society for making the transition to parenthood 100x harder and more confusing than it already is.

I'm sorry that was so long, and I just want to say that as a parent the best advise I have ever received was " my best advise is don't take anyones advice". I didn't understand it at the time, and now I do.

Answer Question
 
Namaste17

Asked by Namaste17 at 3:31 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 24 (20,091 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • I figure as long as they ARE being fed properly,I don't care how you do it
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • well said
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • clapping

    Gnomeofmyheart

    Answer by Gnomeofmyheart at 3:35 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Great post! Awesome points, and I agree with you 100%. As long as your child is being fed, and is healthy, that's all that matters!
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 3:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I don't think anyone could have ever fully prepared me to parenthood, no matter what I was told ahead of time. I Have never felt more insecure and been told more one sided things from all across the board of people - just like you, I was and have been many times over been bashed or been told how I am harming my child ( I had to formula feed due to poor milk production after 2 months of trying ) but I shouldn't HAVE to explain that to each and every one.. what works for one, does not work for other and what doesn't work for most seemed to be what worked for my son, so there again in many ways, I've been bashed more.. I think its made me stronger now that he is 3 and through some very hard spots but I think you are correct, we all need to do our OWN research and have our own beliefs and give "advice" not tell women when and what they are doing wrong all the time.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Welcome to parenthood (and I dont mean that badly lol). Breastfeeding is the beginning, it goes on and on and on. I figure if you arent abusing your child, they are clean, loved and well clothed (not meaning new clothes but weather appropriate etc) then no one has the right to tell you anything else. No one should have the authority to tell you what to feed your child as a newborn or at 15 yrs old. They are our children after all.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I think you should post this on the journal or blog section of this website!
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 3:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • word of advice as a sociology major, dont major in it :p

    you start to see how shitty the world is and you feel like youre the only one in on the joke :p
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:37 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • usdragonflies you're probably right, I didn't even think to wrote a journal post about it!
    Namaste17

    Comment by Namaste17 (original poster) at 3:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • hahaha pookipoo, I'm a social work major and I know exactly what you mean!
    Namaste17

    Comment by Namaste17 (original poster) at 3:39 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.