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Birthday Party problem (a bit peeved)

Ok I dont know if I am right or wrong here but my mil for the past two years has chosen the theme for my youngest dds bday party. My mil is also a professional cake maker (think Ace of Cake type cakes). Last year I was alright with her picking, because it was something my dd really liked. She spends the night with my mil every friday so she knows what she likes (mostly), but she also babies her alot. My dd will be 6 yrs old and is in cheerleading, has played softball and made alot of new friends in the past year. Her interests have broadened and as much as we ALL want our babies to stay babies they start getting big and liking their own things.
Well this year my mil decided my dds bday theme would be Butterflies. Ny dd loves butterflies but not enough to make it a theme per say. She really wanted Unicorns, or a Cheer theme (her sports team name basically). Well I managed to psych dd up for the Butterflies and found a theme to go with it thats bright pink, and appropriate for her age range and something she loves (bright pinks, yellows etc). I sent it to mil two weeks ago she said it was perfect.
Last weekend we were at one of dds games and I asked what color plates (to double check) to get. She said very pale pink and silver (think baby shower type cake). I was really upset, because again shes treating dd like a baby or toddler and doesnt even consider what she might like, or heck what I might like for my dd.
Am I justified in being upset? I doubt Ill say anything. My dh told me he would handle it from now on since this is the second year its happened. I just feel like Im being ungrateful since she is making the cake. She doesnt do this with the other kids btw, just with my youngest (her only biological grandchild even though she tends to treat them the same). BTW dh was her only child, and shes always been a controlling person (dh said so not me).


Asked by gemgem at 3:49 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Well, the bottom line is that this is all on you. I can say this because I have a type A personality MIL when given an inch will run amile. She insisted on doing birthday parties etc. I finally said enough is enough a month or so before dd's birthday I put a deposit down on a bowling alley pizza party (which dd wanted) and told MIL that her party was already planned and that I wanted to make her cake as I'd never been able to do that. I asked if she could bring a appetizer platter lol. MIL's can only do what we allow them to do. If we dont step up and say anything then we get what we get :). Good Luck Momma :)

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • But you ASK her so she thinks you are giving her all the control. Speak up! Let her know or have dd tell her what she wants. Be specific too. She can't read your mind

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:52 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Maybe I wasn't clear. You "asked" her what color plates to get. I'm sure she thought you were ok with it all and by asking her what color plates (and not saying anything) she got a Go Ahead vibe from you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I would have been peeved too. She didn't even let your daughter pick her own theme or cake colors.

    Answer by Misteh at 3:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I am always specific. She DID NOT ASK this year. She just did it. Sorry if I wasnt specific in that, she started planning her party in January & had ordered everything before asking me or dd.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Oh I see she just does things on her own..........I still would of said Im sorry we already have the party planned. I hope you saved reciepts. You give her the you have to take it back :)

    Answer by mistynights234 at 3:57 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Yeah I dont mind the help and I did reserve the roller rink (where dd wanted to go since the cheer leaders wanted it too), but I did that right when she told me she had bought the cake stuff lol. I didnt want to wake up and have it at a bouncey place in toddler central. Thanks though. I just dont like start drama with her. Shes an all about me kind, and if you say something she starts to cry. I just didnt want to think it was just me being petty.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 3:59 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Oh no momma your not being petty at all! Honest to goodness I didnt even make my daughters birthday cake until her 7th birthday party because MIL insisted and god forbid should you argue. Well I didnt argue.......I told her this is whats happening in the same tone of voice she uses on me when giving me the details of parts of my life that she has over took lol

    Answer by mistynights234 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 26, 2011