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how do i deal w/ fam member like this? { long }

i have a 30 yr old sibbling that over a yr & 1/2 her hubby through court.. left her w/ no reason whatsoever 2 wks before their church ceremony... never came back who knows where he is it's like he disappeard.. So she has out of that relationship a DD 9 1/2 mo. old but everytime anyone goes over or we do All we hear the whole time is [we will call him David] david this david that david is an ass blah blah blah ... It's getting to the point where noone wants to be around her at all or even visit her or be around her.. we can't go out because she always supposedly sees him [never true!] & to top it off shes pretty much a Dead beat mom shes never stayed up w/ her DD never woke up when her DD wakes up etc.. all this time she hasnt tried to find a job to supprt her DD she just makes excuses & relies on my mothers S.S check for her & her DD's needs ! and not so much needs she goes clothes shopping becasue she has nothing to wear supposedly if you looked in her closet she has stuff with price tags on it and she still doesnt have clothes. then one day after i went w/ her to the store she was well i was telling [our mom ] that there's no option shes gna have to support me and my DD w/ her S.S. check cus i dont have a job or anything & i told her what! look for one shes all theres none i was like apply @ walmart any store somewherw.. shes all no cus i could never work like that i get nervous i cant! excuse after excuse w/ her fat lazy ass! heck she can' t go anywhere unless she doesnt have her DD w/ her ... because she cries i her carseat! all because she got her used to never being in her carseat so thats her fault! i have to make her DD appts. to see her dr. because shes retarded & cant make appts. for her because[ I dont know how to talk english well ] her excuse .. she's talking it the whole time .... she relys on evreyonelse to do everything like to get her internet connection started anything litteraly. It's getting to the point where i don't even want to go see how my mother is doing because of her ... everytime i say no i cant help you or my kids are sick i cant leave them to go w/ you to take yours to her drs. visits she starts her tantrums & cries & says see when i need them they never help but i'm always there when they need me [Shes never helped me at all w/ anything even when i was recovering at home from a hospitaliztion she never once called or visited me or offered to help me with my kids] but yet we have to be here for her ! I sometimes feel like telling her SHUT UP ALREADY ! IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU FELL IN LOVE W/ AN IMMATURE KID HE WAS ONLY 20 & YOU WERE 29 AT THE TIME! IT'S NOT OUR FAULT HE LEFT YOU & WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT HIM EVERY 2 SECONDS THAT GO BY... GROW UP GET A JOB ! & LEARN TO DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN NOT SO MUCH FOR YOURSELF BUT FOR YOUR DAUGHTER! HE LEFT GET OVER IT ITS OVER 1 YR AGO. PEOPLE DONT CARE ANYMORE OR WANT TO HEAR IT ANY LONGER EITHER! YES ITS SAD HE DID THAT BUT GET OVER IT ! WE DONT HAVE BE BURDENED W/ WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ANY LONGER ! OR BE THERE FOR YOU EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY TO EVEN CALL YOUR BILLS .... I HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT THAN YOU & YOUR PROBS... SHES NEVER BEEN A MOM TO HER dd NOT EVEN FOR A DAY ! HER dAUGHTER CALLS MY MOM... MOM IT'S SAD BUT SHE IS A GOOD FOR NOTHING MOTHER & EVERYTHINGELSE IN BETWEEN! [] I've never been so quiet at all i'm always the outspken one & the one that tells everything to your face .... i don't like talking behind your back but in this case i cant tell her because my mother could get sick if i tell her anything because they live together... & even if i tell her in private she goes home with her boo hoo BULL! & tells her everything need i say i'm 23 soon to be mother of 3 & im more matture than her ass... any advice on what to do or what you would do

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:26 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • Well I would talk to ur mother about this and tell her that she will no longer give her money for anything and she needs to get a job at least. tell her if the baby needs anything then your mom will buy only what the baby needs and nothing more. no more giving money for "baby's needs" and she gets to spend it on whatever. you and your mom need to work together on this because she sounds out of control and immature. tell her that you love her but you can't deal with the negativity and immaturity any longer. you want to be in your niece's life but it is hard when her behavior is the way it is. If that doesn't work then she'll probably end up squeezing every ounce of money and strength your mom has. tell her that your mom is getting older so it's time to make her life easier. she's a grown up and shoud act like one. good luck to u.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 4:51 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • thanks =) i will do i love my niece with all my heart! like she is one of my own ...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:53 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

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