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2 Bumps

Wondering what is going on in young girls minds...

Because of my recent experience (as well as past experiences), I am not sure if I have much faith in the registered sex offenders site when it comes to men being convicted of statutory rape. I remember being in high school and having other girls tell me that they had lied about their ages to have sex with an older man, but I never thought I would be the one to be lied to in order for a girl to get a man.

One of my friends was dating a girl who lied to us all and said she was 19. We did not think anything was strange about her because she looked like she was in her mid twenties (like us) and she would spend morning, noon, and night with him (and sometimes us) any day of the week or weekend. She never even had to check in with parents like many teens do. A few months later he broke up with her for her insecurities. Next thing we know she's charging him with statutory rape (not her parents, HER) and she is only 16! What is going through these young girls' minds that they think it is acceptable to lie about their age and then get mad and press charges when the guy breaks up with them???

Another thing that I would like to know is how do you explain to your daughter that doing this is wrong? And how do you explain to your son that if he wants a girlfriend he needs to ask for ID? Our son's should not have to ask for an ID in order to keep themselves out of such a situation.

I would also like to know what they are putting in the milk these days. When I was younger little girls looked like little girls. Now days 12, 13, 14, etc. year old girls are looking like they are in their late teens-early twenties!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Good ?. I look at it like if you are willing to be so casual to not know the persons correct age, then you are being irresponsible to begin with. Its all about negligence. Like saying " I didnt know that 3 beers would bust me for DUI" Its not as personal as a sex offender but something that should have been thought out better
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:36 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • As far as my kids go....Id have to teach them the same about being negligent/irresponsible. I would do the best I could to explain to dd that its not right to lie to anyone and its not OK to have sex with just anyone. I dont want her doing it at all obvi, but she needs to be resonsible. Same with my son. Its all about the thinking and planning instead of the in-the-moment judgements
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:38 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • She was really wrong to do that. I think you have to explain to kids that there are bad people out there who will lie about their age, that they should never do that and they can get in big trouble if they do. She should be the one being charged with a crime, not him. At least he has witnesses to her more adult behavior. Did she ever say how old she was to you or any of your friends? If he does go to court over this, charges can be lowered because she lied about her age.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 4:41 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • in that case, I'm guess it was her being butt sore over his breaking up with her and not really understanding fully the consequences of what she's doing to him. She figures if he's going to break up with her she'll just press charges. As for these young girls, IMO its a lack of raising and our society being so very over sexualized. Girls are taught very young to dress, move and act in certain ways to get the attention of men.
    doodlepossum

    Answer by doodlepossum at 4:42 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • It's amazing how common all that crap is! This girl that my sister and her friends went to school with (in the 80s) sued our assistant principle (when I was in high school) because she had sex with him 20 years ago! He's now listed as a sex offender, lost his job of 20+ years, etc. It's horrible. We all know the girl and she's such a ho (seriously, she brags about it). When she was in high school, she seduced a few of the teachers, including him. Then, when she pressed charges (it was like 17 years after the events), all of a sudden her friends were like, "Oh yeah, he raped me, too!" It's so pathetic. That chick waited until the guy was settled down with a family (his daughter, about my age, graduated valedictorian that same year) and making decent money for once, and then BAM! It's so wrong. I've seen it happen to several people, though. I think that the girls who do that need mental help ASAP.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 4:45 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Oh, and I know what you mean about the girls looking so much older. I'm only 21, but jeez... When I was in 8th grade, we were starting to experiment with our hair, clothes, makeup, etc. Now, 5th graders are giving BJs and crap! It's disgusting! My little sister is 13 and already dressing ways that I would have been beaten for even looking at when I was her age. I don't understand why 12 year olds feel like they need to try to look sexy. Then again, with role models like Miley Cyrus.... I don't understand it. I want my kid to look like a kid, not a teenage hooker or something.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 4:49 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • I do not even know if they actually had sex or not though... they certainly were not doing it when I was around. So who's to say she is not lying about that. If she thinks it is okay to lie about her age, then how does anyone know she not lying about having sex with him??
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:59 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Young girls do dress older, but it seems like they are developing at a much younger age as well. I don't know, it is so weird. As for Steph 319 saying I was the one being irresponsible is not true. First of all, I am not the one who should have known the girls correct age. I wasn't the one dating her. And secondly the girl was the one who SAID she was 19. Should I ask for ID next time even though I am not the one dating her or having sex with her? Its not like she was drinking or getting high when I was around. I just think that her parents should have keep better track of her and hopefully after this incident they will. Parents can't control EVERYTHING their kids do. This girl was in the wrong for lying to everyone. I often wonder about school too. If she did attend a public school, there is no way she is passing for how much school she had missed.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:06 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Ask for IDs is not fool proof either because teens have fakes. Charges against him should be droped though if he can prove she lied about her age.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 6:19 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • Honestly, I would kick my daughters ass if she did something like this! We aren't raising her to think this crap is acceptable. Kids do things like this because they get away with it. When I was 16 I dated a soldier. I dated them ever since. Married one, too. Well, technically, two. Anywho..... I would have never done anything like this. I wouldn't have gotten away with it, and I know it.
    I sure hope they didn't have sex. And I sure hope all his friends that met her are able to be character witnesses for him. And be witness as to her being around all the time, how she acted, things she said and did. Prove she's lying. Take a stand, and force them to PROVE him guilty, as it should be.
    I'm all for the courts really sticking it to a rapist/sex offender. But not when it's a wrongly accused individual. Not in cases like this. Not when it's a consensual relationship, guy is 18, girl is 15-16 and her parents don't like it. Not cool.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:33 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

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