Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Next Question, Please »
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships
1 Bump

What should I do?

My bf just got home 5 days ago from being locked up for 2 years. He says he wants to be with me and everything, says hes gonna be the one raising my son instead of his "sperm donor" but he just seems kinda distant and we dont talk much on the phone. Should I be worried or is it that he just needs time to get use to being home and everything. I know he has 2 kids that he is trying to spend as much time with as possible. Think im just being paranoid?

Answer Question
 
jellybeansmama

Asked by jellybeansmama at 11:47 PM on Jan. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (78 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't find it surprising if it takes some time to get comfortable. Depending on what he was in prison for, do you WANT to be with him??
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 11:53 PM on Jan. 26, 2011

  • give it some time he might be institutionalized. i have heard that when someone is locked up for a while they get used to the structure on the inside and the outside world is weird to them; he needs time to get back in the groove of things. i agree with adelicious; is he a good role model for your son???
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:00 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Yes i want to be with him. I have wanted to be back with him ever since we broke up 3 years ago. So Im just probably over reacting and just need to give him some time
    jellybeansmama

    Comment by jellybeansmama (original poster) at 12:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • what a winner
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Yes he is great. Yea he told me that in a letter before he came home. So should I just wait for him to call me and wait for him to tell me he wants to see me? Hes going to be working with his dad this weekend but i wanted to see if he was going to be busy sunday morning at least but should i ask to see him or if he will go to church with me. He told me that he would like to start going with me.
    jellybeansmama

    Comment by jellybeansmama (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Depending on what he was in prison for, I would think about it really good before you make any sudden decisions. A lot can happen in two years. Not just with him, but you as well. How old is your child and how do you think he would react to someone coming in all of a sudden to be a dad to him? If you are doing okay right now, don't rush into anything. Take your time and do what you think is right, not what he thinks is right.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:10 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • My son is 20 months. Well he has never had a dad in his life. I'm doing ok its just kinda hard with him being home and not hearing from him like almost all day. I think i may be being a little paranoid about the whole thing though.
    jellybeansmama

    Comment by jellybeansmama (original poster) at 12:14 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • He's been locked up for five years, so it is going to be quite an adjustment for him now that he's out. Being locked up isn't an experience that most realize that it is and can really take a toll on a person. Especially after five years behind bars. It will take him a while to adjust to being on the outside. I would give him some space and see where it leads. Honestly, it's hard for me to say that last sentence, because I couldn't be with someone who's been locked up for that long. That's just me though, in no way should you do anything other then follow your heart. I hope it all works out for you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:27 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • He has only been locked up for 2 years.
    jellybeansmama

    Comment by jellybeansmama (original poster) at 12:49 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • it takes time to adjust from prison life to regular life again. support him but don't let him use you as a doormat.
    kittymeri

    Answer by kittymeri at 1:12 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
Answers / Life & Home / Relationships

Active Posts in All Groups