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2 Bumps

When people say "it will change everything" what do they really mean?

My husband and I are wanting a child (hasn't happened yet) and SO MANY people are saying "it's going to change everything" in some sort of negative way.

Now, we understand that having a child is a life altering experience. We also understand that it isn't all fun (diapers, illness, crying, poor grades, bullying, etc.) but there is allot of fun stuff too! We feel prepared.

Then people say "you won't be able to go out anymore" but when we go out we look around and see people with kids. We played trivia the other night and the people next to us had a baby!

People tell us "you won't be able to travel any more" but on our last 4 trips we've specifically looked and TONS of people have children, even infants. On a cruise to the Caribbean, hiking in the Smokies, a guided tour in Savannah... everywhere we've gone we have seen parents with young children.

So... my question, really, is this: What changed dramatically (in a tough way) for you when you had your child? Is there anything you wish people had warned you about that they didn't?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • Don't listen to others. Do what you think is right for you. Everything changed from your single life when you married. Everything will change when you have children but it doesn't have to be all bad. It will be challenging at times but it also can be fulfilling.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • i WISH i HAD KNOWN THAT THE CLOTHES i OWNED WHEN i GOT PREGNANT WERE THE CLOTHES I WOULD HAVE TO WEAR FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN BETTER CARE OF THEM. LOL!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I haven't had any "bad" changes come into play.  Life is no longer about yourself.  Your thinking will change more than anything in my opinion.  Traveling isn't hard with a child, again, just my opinion. Lack of sleep?  You will learn how to live on less sleep.  Going out?  No, it hasn't changed that for us at all.  We didn't go to bars, clubs, etc. to start with.  There isn't a good way to explain it in depth.  Just have to wait and see how it changes you but no, it's not all negative, if at all.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • LIFE you lose a sense of who you are you trade in heals & sexy pants for sweats and crocks lol we all change in some way but i wouldn't say its negative its all part of becoming a parent so don't stress about it don't let anyone take away from your happiness

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 1:13 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • In some cases (not all) a child can put a strain on ur relatoinship. Ur sex life. Ur mentallity. But if u have a strong relationship w/ ur hubby & love & support fr family & friends. U can work thru it. Theres an up & dwn side to everything. But all and all in the end... Thats what lifes about. Right?? U take the good & the bad and keep moving foward & living & loving life. You will b fine.. Hon. Stop worrying & good luck & best wishes on tryn to concieve ur bundle of joy :)
    tiamesmer

    Answer by tiamesmer at 1:19 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Honestly..the only "big" thing that changed since my Husband and I became Parents was not being able to be naked 24/7 when We are at home. Otherwise, things are exactly the same, aside from the fact that there is three of Us and it's louder in the house. ;P
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:26 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I second that the biggest change will be in your thinking. You aren't just you anymore, you are someone's mom. No more being self-absorbed (and you won't realize you were until you can't be), everything has to run through the mom filter first. Traveling isn't bad, especially if you get them used to it when they are young. Heck, I would strap my daughter in her sling and she would snooze while we went sight seeing. Though Rock City with an infant in a sling is a bad idea. Fat Man's Pass (a squeeze between two giant rock formations) was real tight without waking her up. ;) It wasn't like we were clubbing before, so really a table for three at Applebee's isn't that much different than a table for two. The biggest tip? Just stay flexible on time, expectations, plans, etc. They aren't predictable critters. Ever. Even once they are grown.

    Other than that? Good luck, be flexible and enjoy parenthood. The early days fly too quickly.
    blu_canary

    Answer by blu_canary at 1:36 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think the 4 hardest parts of being a parent are sleep deprivation, having to plan around your child's schedule, money, and constantly worrying about them and wanting to protect them. But when you're greeted with that sweet morning smile when they first wake up, the first time they say "mama" or "dada", when they laugh at you like you're the funniest person on earth, when they fall asleep on your chest and you can just listen to them breath and smell that sweet baby smell......I could go on.....it's so worth all the sleepless nights, stressful moments, poopy diapers and spit up and spending a fortune on one little person. Yes your life will change drastically in some negative ways but I promise mostly in positive ways.
    courtloux_128

    Answer by courtloux_128 at 2:42 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I remember when I realized the change that I had undergone when I became a parent. The change begins when you conceive, or realize you're expecting, not when the baby is born. You begin by planning everything. And Nothing goes according to plan. During your pregnancy, there's still a lot of your life that's all about you, but the second your little one comes into the world it starts to revolve around them. I don't think back on the days before my DS joined us and made us a family very often. They don't matter. Life is better when every day starts and ends with "I love you Mumma." Even if you have rough times inbetween. The one thing that changed in my life that I miss the most is that my friends without children stopped coming around as much, but hey, who needs them when I have the best little man in the world for a friend. I read it in an email once. When you become a parent, you stop being "Ann" and become "Johnny's Mom."
    BisketLiss

    Answer by BisketLiss at 6:16 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • When you go out with young children, you always have half your attention on them and when they are fussy, it's all your attention. You don't usually get to eat most of your meal and you keep having to stop your converstations. A cruise would be a competely different vacation. While currently, if you went on a cruise right now, you would prob lay out and tan, swim, eat, drink, and maybe go dancing and drinking at night right? Well with a baby, your in the kiddie pool, constantly worrying about sunscreen, and if you want to go ou without babyt, you have to book an on board babysitter. I love having my dd. I was very young (18) so I never experience this freedom so I can't miss it. I think as long as you know this is what you are getting into, and you are willing to make the sacrafices, it will be wonderful. The "kid" vacation is fun only if you are ready to put your child first, seeing thier happyness makes you happy.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 7:22 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

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