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23 Bumps

Totally Blown Away adult content

I had Kid #3 six weeks go, and during the entire pregnancy I was on pelvic rest, so therefore no sex. So it's been almost a year since my husband and I have been intimate. He was never one for things like BJs or HJs anyway, so when I say we haven't been intimate, I mean, we haven't touched one another sexually at all. I had my six-week-followup appointment and was cleared for action, and I texted my husband to let him know. He texted back "We need to talk". So I got home before he did, and got all spruced up and pretty and he came home and sat me down and told me that he is done with sex. Period. He said he actually enjoyed not having to think about sex or have it the entire pregnancy, that it was a relief. He said that he always did enjoy having sex, but once he experienced not having it, he discovered that he just didn't want to have to anymore. He said he loves me and everything and will be with me and our kids, but he just doesn't want to have sex anymore. Before you suggest it, he's not cheating, nor is he gay.

I am absolutely destroyed. I have no idea how to feel about this, what to think, or what to do next.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (51)
  • He needs to see a Doctor, that is NOT normal at all for a man.

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • counsiling! NOW!

    Sex is a healthy part of a loving relationship. When one of you doesn't want it, there is an issue. I'm not suggesting that he is doing something inappropriate but there is something wrong with him.

    If he really wants to keep the marriage together, he will agree to go. If he doesn't agree, then he really has no desire to make this work out.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:07 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • There's something else going on here. I hope you find out what it is and soon!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Maybe he has postpartum depression? He should definitely seek help though.

    Answer by gumby11883 at 8:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Yeah, I am at a loss with that! I would be in shock too. So your sex life was healthy before, and he was always interested?? I don't know, maybe he's had a loss of libdo and is embarrased?

    Answer by Roisin07 at 8:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Crass as it sounds, there is a lot of truth to the saying "use it or lose it".  It sound like his libido needs jump starting and you would know best how to do that.  Talking to a doctor wouldn't hurt either.  GL!


    Answer by beeky at 8:11 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think first you should sit back and take a deep breathe. A year is a long time to not be sexually intimate, he's told you he loves you, so maybe you should give it some time. Sex isn't what is important in a relationship. Contrary to what some believe, there are men out there who doesn't want to have sex and only does it because they feel it's necessary in showing affection. We have become a society today that feels if we don't have someone to have sex with us we aren't attractive or wanted. Find other things to do with your husband that is intimate, and you may find that things will be great and that a whole new world opens up to you. Put more emphasis on finding other ways to be intimate without sex, show him you are trying. Then if it doesn't help you, talk to him about marriage counseling. With just what you said, it doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you at all. Good Luck sweetheart ~hugs~

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 8:14 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • im sorry... but i would be offended. it sounds like it is sex in general, not you at all, but i would still be offended. and no, it is not normal.

    good luck with it all. hugs!

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 8:18 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • something isn't right and how would you know if he was cheating or not??? Lot of married people don't know if their spouse is cheating or not. I am not saying he is but how can you be for sure?? something just isn't clicking, doesn't make sense at all in fact it sounds like he is coming up with excuses on why he doesn't want to have sex. And i find it very hurtful and rude that he says he doesn't want to have sex with you. If he loved you he would still be giving you sex, not because he wants it but because you want it. in marriage you have to learn to give, and did it ever cross his mind that what he said could be very hurtful and make some one extremely depressed. i find your husband to be selfish.

    Answer by mrssundin at 8:20 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Maybe ask him to commit to one month of sex and then reevaluate how he feels after that?

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:28 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

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