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Why is it that there is so much emphasis put on sex? adult content

I am surprised and mildly appalled about the emphasis that is put on sex. Sex is supposed to be an intimate act. BUT it should never be the focus of any relationship. Why is it that people feel if they don't have sex the other person is cheating or homosexual, or there is something wrong.

I know what I believe and what I will stand behind, however what do you believe. Is it possible to have an excellent relationship/marriage without having sex?


Asked by kitchenwitch78 at 8:28 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Health

Level 20 (9,989 Credits)
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Answers (11)
  • For many reasons, if you are in a marriage or bonded relationship sex is to be thought of as making love and an act of affection for one another. I am torn between the issue, I see and understand both sides....wanting it vs not wanting it. It's an emotional part for some people, and when all your emotional energy is put into babies, toddlers, can become drained at the end of the day and not even think of it. My husband's biggest complaint of my lack of affection towards him lead him to go to bars, strip clubs, etc in the 2 months he has been away for a new job. That isn't right either.....
    Sex has always been a part of society, it's nothing new. Look at ancient societies, it was there then too. Just as rampant as it is today.

    It's only possible to have a great relationship without sex if both partners hold that same opinion and feeling.

    Answer by 2BlondeBabies at 8:34 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think it varies from person to person and couple to couple. It's really not that important to me, but if I was married to someone who was kind of obsessed with it, then obviously it would create issues in the marriage. I think just like with other important topics, it's imperative for a couple to be on the same page with sexual desire, whether that desire is once a month or once a day.

    Answer by vicesix at 8:33 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Only when both parties agree to it. If you both agree to be celibate then sure.  It's not fair for one side to all of a sudden say "ok no more sex". 


    Answer by luvmygrlz at 8:37 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sex should not be the focus of a relationship, but if the relationship lacks sex, it lacks a lot.

    What an individual may feel is a lack of sex in a relationship might differ from marriage to marriage, but what a person feels should not be put down by anyone.

    A lack of sex goes far beyond a lack of sex. It goes to feelings of attractiveness, confidence, emotional well being and even trust. If one person feels a lack of intimacy the entire marriage can be doomed.


    Answer by layh41407 at 8:40 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I feel that sex is a part of any relationship and if BOTH partners feel the same way and don't want it, then that is their relationship and nothing is wrong with that. I am sure that they have other ways of getting the intimacy that they need.

    However, the question you referred to was about how she wants it and he doesn't want it ever again. In that case, to her, sex is an important part of their relationship and that means that there is an issue.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:53 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • My husband will do the dishes with me, will sit on the sofa and put his arm around me, will think to pick up a little treat for me when he stops at the store on the way home from work--but he will not have sex with me. He's been to the doctor and there is no medical reason for this. He claims he finds me attractive, but still nothing. I feel ugly, unwanted and unloved. He swears up and down he loves me and that he does not want a divorce, but I don't know how much longer I can take this.
    He will say "but I help with the dishes, I put my arm around you, what more do you want?" I try to tell him that I understand that, but after months and months of just that and nothing else, I start to feel unloved, unwanted and undesireable. Then those feelings turn to anger.
    I don't ask for sex every day. Hell, I don't even ask for it every week, but once you go months and months without it, it does start to wear on you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I have a daughter now, so I haven't really thought about it up until now (today all kinds of things are making me think lol). I was raised as you don't do it until your married...period, no questions asked. I didn't follow that teaching, but I don't want to teach my daughter that sex is tabu, nor do I want her to feel that she "has" to do it just because she's with someone who wants to. I guess I wonder now because a woman asked a question about her husband, and I find nothing wrong in not having a sexual desire, the pressure to perform on men can be overwhelming and shut them down completely, just as it is on us. I worry that sometimes Intimacy and Sex are mistaken for the same thing, and I just want others opinions. As for strip bars and that crap..I don't go for it at all, no excuses. Do guys not understand that doing dishes with us after dinner can be considered an act of intimacy?

    Comment by kitchenwitch78 (original poster) at 8:44 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • To anon above me.....
    has he said why he won't have sex, from his own mouth...a reason? is there no rousing feelings or something?
    I'm sorry...I hope you find some peace! xoxoxoxox

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think you need sex to have a healthy relationship...and that's ONLY DEPENDENT on what the desires and needs between the two involved in a marriage! I believe if your husband needs some attention, then because you love him, you give him some attention! Likewise, if you need some, he should be willing to go along. This NEED should not be abused or used to guilt the person into having sex with you JUST BECAUSE you want it.
    I'm not one to WANT or NEED sex very often, but when I do I DO lol

    Answer by CABlonde at 9:04 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • It is a mans world, and it would be nothing to them without sex, either real sex, in the mind sex or porno sex. I think that a relationship should have sex in it, and the amount should be agreeable to both partners.

    Answer by LindaJacobs at 9:34 AM on Jan. 27, 2011