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What would you say to your almost 15 year old son who refuses to put medication on his acne since he says nothing works and

mocks you when you are remarking about how your husband has not taken a shower since shoveling snow. He answers back at me so nasty and I yell back at him and he is going through puberty. He is very sensitive and I am dealing with a cargiving situation with my parents and feel as if I am better off helping them at their house (one week on , one week off then staying with my son at home during a massive snow storm. Plae any kind words would help. My mom just had a stroke , my father had pnemonia and has dementia and dealing with them is better than dealing with my son's bs. Please help....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My ds is 18 (well... he's turning 18 in 2 1/2 weeks) and we've gone through different times like that together at that age. I think with us it's a little different because I'm a single mom and have been since he was born, his "father" is not a part of his life at all. Keep in mind that puberty is difficult time.. remember how you felt? Also, it's natural for him to alternate between pushing away from you and "clinging" to his childhood/you. This is a necessary part of growing up and subconsciously he is preparing himself to leave the nest. I know this doesn't make it any easier to deal with on a day to day basis but it might help to have a better understanding of why. And.. I agree with the other smart ladies... are his acne meds really where you want to draw your line in the sand? Save your energy for the big stuff. Good luck!

    FeelinYummy

    Answer by FeelinYummy at 10:39 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • not putting acne meds on is prolly not a battle i would care to engage in with everything else going on! let it go, keep it available for him, though!
    itzmyzoo

    Answer by itzmyzoo at 9:54 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • yea, it's his face and honestly not worth your time and energy, it sounds likeyou have alot of other things to worry about.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 9:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I guess I am really stressed and taking out on him but I truly love him very much and I feel as if I am neglecting him while I am away tending to my parents.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:57 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I would forget about the acne problem, but address the disrespect problem....if I couldn't handle it through discipline I'd take him to see a counselor....this is ridiculous how kids in our culture treat their parents....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:02 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • So it is not worth getting angry? He is shoveling snow for his grandparents now next door and not for me just to piss me off and because my husband told him to doing their huse first and guess who gives himm the money for shoveling snow? Me! Things like that are really hard to miss.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like you've got an unhealthy dynamic going on in regard to your parenting. I think counseling could be really helpful.

    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 10:10 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • He is very kind one minute but nasty the next. He is going through puberty and very sensitive about his weight and skin and girls forget about talking about that. He dropped off fb because he can not deal with criticism, but then he will come tickle me and hug me and all that it is really highs and lows.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:12 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like you are stressing over little things that aren't worth stressing over. He is at that age where he is trying to be independent. Pick your battles or you are going to drive everyone, including yourself, crazy!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:14 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I guess I need to back off but I can not believe how clear his face was last year and now it is like not nice to look at and his cousing had to go on heavy duty medication.I do not want it to escalate....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Jan. 27, 2011