Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I need advice...my sex life with my husband... adult content

My husband and I have been married for 4 years, together for 5.  We have a fairly...boring...sex life, I guess.  We hardly ever try anything new, and it's my fault.  He's constantly mentioning stuff he would like to try.  Honestly, I would LOVE to try new things.  I guess I'm just a bit, I don't know, shy.  I don't like the way I look so I try to keep it so I don't have to bare a lot of skin or be in too much light.  I know my husband loves me and thinks I'm beautiful, but it's my self-consciousness that's getting in the way.  I'm working on losing weight, and I think after I do that and I'm more comfortable with the way I look, things would be different.  But until then...

I would LOVE to step outside my comfort zone and try new things in the bedroom, I just don't know how to get over my "fear" of it, I guess.  It takes a lot...A LOT...of begging just for my husband to get me on top, that's how bad it is.

What do I do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • i've kinda been the same way. i've been kinda bored as well and shy. i have a fun new idea for you though..i just tried it. i went to the sex store and bought a vibe. (just for the clit) my dh was kinda weirded out by it at first but we got to doing it and he loved it ...(he said he could feel the vibration of it through me. it worked best doggy style. i just had it on my clit and he said he could feel it. (sorry if tmi)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • First, candlelight. Candlelight is extremely flattering and can trick the eye in so many ways. Second, find some alone time...either a couple hours at once, or just a few minutes here and there. Experiment in front of a mirror with poses, makeup, lingerie...whatever. Find ways to think of yourself as beautiful...or at least acceptably pretty. Recreate THOSE things in the bedroom with your husband. You will feel more confident and be more free.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:02 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I'm so sorry about that, I can't imagine. I would talk to him and tell him you would love to try new stuff as long as you felt comforable. Tell him he needs to make you feel comfortable, he needs to tell you that you are beautiful. Also, tell him you would give him more if you didnt have to beg to get what you want. I hope it gets better.
    Mrs.Faith

    Answer by Mrs.Faith at 11:03 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I feel your pain! After having 3 children in 5 years, my body leaves something to be desired (by me anyway). Have worked hard to lose the excess weight and it does help with the confidence (with clothes on), but in the buff is another story. The tummy never goes back. I finally had to take a good look in the mirror. My husband kept telling me I was beautiful, sexy, etc, but I didn't believe. Looking in the mirror, I finally looked for something good that I liked about myself. Doesn't matter what it is, just something you really like about yourself. Don't focus on the bad, hard as it may be. Once you find the thing or things, sexy legs, small waist, cute butt, whatever it is, play that part up. Find some sexy lingerie to help cover the things you don't like. Once you feel better and sexier, you will have more confidence and be willing to try new things, start small and go for it!
    Jackie1081

    Answer by Jackie1081 at 11:08 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • You have to start with something small...then go onto the bigger things.
    Momoftwinkies

    Answer by Momoftwinkies at 11:09 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Just make yourself do it. It sounds harsh but it works. I have always hated my body but hubby loves it. I just kept telling myself to get over it and make him happy and now I'm completely comfortable naked in front of him as well as trying anything new that we decide we want to. Good luck :)
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 11:11 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I was the same way in the past, and have my moments sometimes still but my boyfriend is amazing at getting me to not care about all that stuff when we're intimate. I've done things with him I was too self-conscious to before.
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 11:17 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • firt\st of all are u actually trying to loose the weight i think u should be comfortable the way u are if he dont care u shouldnt care because it might be too late sometimes and sex is one of the most important things in marriage
    Hyde3

    Answer by Hyde3 at 11:43 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Try role-playing, that way you can put on a different persona and REALLY spice things up
    MChildressDem

    Answer by MChildressDem at 3:18 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Im so sorry you are going through this....
    My only thought on this is, just try and loose yourself in the moment. Forget about whatever is making you self conscious, and focus on how great it feels, and how sexy your man is... Forget about everything but the pleasure and your man :)
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN