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What should my family do?

My sister in law,(who has 2 children, 1 just finished treatments for Leukemia ages 4 and 7) has been showing very odd behavior lately. She has been going out and staying out late (with out her husband), she texts more than a teenager ave. almost 6,000 a month, her house is a mess, she is very short with people, ALOT with her husband, and we have found out that alot of the texts that she is sending is to other men. With me being the in law, I don't want to rock the boat, but I feel she is out of control and needs to seek help. Please help give me advice on what you would do in my situation? What are your feelings on what she is doing???

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Michelleb05

Asked by Michelleb05 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Grief counseling for what she faced sounds like a good place to start... let her husband deal with the issue of other men?
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:31 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Really sounds like she is cheating. I think if you were to try to talk to her she would just get defensive and freak out on you. Poor hubby!!! Not bad enough you have to go through your baby having chemo, now your wife acting like this? Yikes. I'm sorry...
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:31 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I guess it would depend on what is being said in texts. But,she is under alot of stress. Asick child! That is scary!! My heart goes out to her!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:31 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • If you are close to her take her out to lunch and try talking to her, she might have issuse with what she just went threw and she is going a little crazy from all the stress.
    peace013

    Answer by peace013 at 11:31 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I do understand your concern. The only thing I think you can do is to go to her and tell her that you are worried about her, and let her know that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to....You can also be there for her kids as much as you can....pray for her....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:32 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Where there is smoke there is generally fire. Even if she hasn't technically done something wrong..the stage is set for it to happen. Obviously her behavior is suspicious. Unfortunately, you're in a screwed position. If you say something you're the interfereing SIL.. If you speak to your brother he may get defensive and resent you. I don't think there is much for you to do but pray she pulls her head out.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:32 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Your SIL and her husband are going through a really rough time right now. Instead of saying something about her behavior, why don't you offer help, ask her if she needs anything? I can't imagine going through what they have been through, I think that right now they need love and support, not judgment.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 11:33 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • she probly dont know how to handle the situation so she is tryiung to forget in different ways.. her hubby needs to reach out to her in defferent ways becuz sometimes couples brak up with difficult situations.. my prayers go out to there marriage and home..
    Hyde3

    Answer by Hyde3 at 11:34 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • This is more an issue for her husband than to have some major interventions. Being faced with a life threatening illness, a potentially dying, is a HUGE thing. It can be life altering and it also can cause some very odd behaviors just having a diagnosis. Then add in treatments and of course it can impact personality. I worked with terminally ill patients in hospice and with patients who have lived with a chronic illness that is potentially life ending in palliative care. Then depending on the progression of the disease....yes, it impacts the brain.  As the disease progresses (and I hope this is not the case) it spreads to the brain.  Its called Metz to the brain.  On the other hand I knew a married breast cancer survivor, who had both breasts removed, and after her recovery had an affair with her coworker.  The sad ironic part - she also worked in the same place as her husband. 

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:36 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • We have been very supportive of both of them through all of it, I know that they went through a hard time, but the thing is, the partying and "suspicious actions" was going on before the diagnosis. In fact she has DUI's in the past 7 years! Her reckless behavior has me very concerned for her children. I'm not trying to pass judgement on her, please don't think that I what I am doing. I just care alot about both of them and love her kids very much!!
    Michelleb05

    Comment by Michelleb05 (original poster) at 11:38 AM on Jan. 27, 2011

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