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bullies

Do your child have bullies in their school? Have they ever had problems with bullies? What did they do? What did you do? Do you teach your child to be passive or fight back? Would you be okay if your child fought back?
(I taught my son to fight back after trying ALL other possiblities. We talk about this often and I let him know that if he has tried the other avenues to resolve it peacefully I will support him in his decision to fight. I believe kids need to stand up for themselves if the bullying does not stop). Oppinions?

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MamaWolf1981

Asked by MamaWolf1981 at 12:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,511 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • My child has a bully in his Wednesday school class that is almost a year and a half older than him. The kid is MEAN to ALL of the other kids and makes them cry frequently. My son doesn't put up with his crap and stood up to the kid and pushed him back after he pushed my son down. After that the kid leaves my son alone because he knows my kid will dish it back out.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 12:29 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I have told our boys that they should NEVER stand back and let it happen, they are to get help immediately. As for if they get bullied, I tell them not to resort to violence, that they should go to an adult. If someone throws the first punch, and they didn't provoke it then they are allowed to defend themselves. Otherwise it's always best to go to an adult.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • There r bullying laws out there,they make it illegal to do that and there r serious consequences.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 12:30 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Right now my son is 5, so we take the tell the teacher road and leave it at that. My brothers and I were always taught as a child to stand up for ourselves, but violence was a last resort only to be used in self-defense or after all other measures had been exhausted. In elementary and jr. high I was easily picked on, but I never did anything but cry so that's why. In high school I figured out I could pretty much out talk anyone so I learned to use my words to win, and it never resorted to violence. Once, I lured a girl to throw a punch in front of faculty but before I could throw one back they were over suspending her. So that too worked out to my advantage. I will teach my son the same thing my mom taught me, only my son will NEVER hit a girl ever. I don't care what she says or does to him he will be told he does not touch a girl violently in any way. If she's throwing punches he can walk away and get someone else involved
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 12:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • As a teacher, I dislike when parents teach their children that violence is ok as the first response to a bully. They need to learn to use their words or get help first.


     Note--I said first. If it continues and that school or responsible adults are not taking care of the matter and all other courses of action have been considered, I have no problem telling my kid to go for it and I have done so. But it should NEVER be the first action.

    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 12:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Standing up for yourself does not mean you have to throw a punch.
    Physical violance is only acceptable when defending yourself.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 12:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • DD has. Relational bullying. (the Monster in her class gets to elect whether the class is allowed to talk to you or not that day) I complained (as well as other 4 parents...there are 20 children in that class!) The school took measures to solve it and the Monster is watched very closely by teachers and the vice/principal. THe Vice-principal is the designated go-to-adult at school if it happens again. If all else fails- but only if all else fails- DD has my permission to whack that kid and I'm willing to support her, but she knows this is only a LAST resort!
    Belovedmoonpixi

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 12:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • i hate bulling and i truely believe that it starts at home... a child will bully others if they are being bullied themselves at home... i don't teach my son to fight back he is to young even though he will... but he will tell me if someone does hit him... as he gets older and i does happen in school i will hope he tells the teacher first and me and if the teacher doesn't do anything about it then to go to the princable and if that is not fixed then i will have a talk with them cause either way it will be stoped.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 3:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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