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Ugh!!! Why do we still have to meet my step son's mom half way if she never pays child support??

We have been meeting her half way for the past 3 years and she has been ordered to pay child support for 6 but has only paid maybe 2 years worth, but we haven't seen anything for the past 3!!!! Why do we have to keep our end of the deal if she doesn't. We have to drive a 1 1/2 one way every first, third and fifth weekend. I'm the one that usually has to do the driving because of my husband work hours but our kids hate going. Money is tight to and paying the gas bill isn't cheap. I just don't understand why we have to do it if she refusing to pay child support??

 
aheuszel

Asked by aheuszel at 2:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 17 (3,855 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Your doing it for your step child. Money is tight thats understandable and it's also understandable thats shes being a dead beat, but at least shes meeting you half way to see her child and is part of his life. Thats more than a lot of kids get.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 2:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Visitation and child support are two different issues. Regardless of what kind of mother she is, she is still his mother and he should have a relationship with her. If she is that behind, take her to court, she should be paying her child support.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 2:15 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Take her to court, she can be held in contempt.
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 2:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Visitation and child support are two different things in court. You cannot break the court order just because she is. All you can do is go to child support court and ask for it to be enforced. I have been through this, so I know the frustration. My ex never paid and I had to meet him half ways (8 hr drive mind you and gas isnt cheap) but he never paid a cent. I was told if I with held visits id be found in contempt for that and could lose custody.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:18 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Taker her back to court and say she isn't paying courted order child support.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 2:12 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • File with the court for non payment. Visitation and child support are issues that don't effect one anothewr. If there is a court order and she is in violation file it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:13 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I think you should talk to a lawyer about this. I would check and see if you can take her back to court for failure to pay child support, and also ask about making her do the transporting since your husband works (and it should not be your responsibility to get the child for visits).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • It isnt about you though. The court order is set up to benefit your step son, not you, not your dh, not her. If she isnt following the order then you have to go back to court. You can file pro se. I have done it. I am sure if you have been to court alot of times with her you have copies of things lawyers filed for you. Look at them and do some research and file it pro se. All you do is go in and say she owes however much money. Its pretty black and white when dealing with child support since its all math. Maybe they can get some money from her, who knows?
    Either way there isnt much you can do on visits. If you dont go, you will end up in trouble with the courts. I got in trouble with them for almost the same reason. I had to work & he wasnt paying cs, thus I had to work extra. Courts didnt care. I was held in contempt.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:26 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Obby really? tell that to the mother who's child goes without because the man won't pay yet he demands to spend time with the kid, basically for ego reasons. Child support is implemented for a reason and just because the child has a parent who is remarried and a step parent doesn't change the laws!
    Crystal8327

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • It cost $5000 to go back for modifications and only $1500 for Child support but she's so behind they will just take her license away and then we will probably have to drive the whole way! We've already been to court twice with her.
    aheuszel

    Comment by aheuszel (original poster) at 2:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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