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What is the best method of dealing with a terrible 2's tantrum?

My 2 going on 3 year old is definitely in his terrible stage, I understand that is natural...and he is an amazing kid when he is in daycare. He is very bright, he can count to 30, he knows his ABC's, colors, and shapes. He doesn't cry or act up, they say he is a complete angel. However, when he get's home, he throws major fits when we won't get him something he wants and refuses to eat anything other than peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. If he doesnt get it, he wont eat.

We don't really believe in spanking, however he has gotten his hands popped a few times. Time out doesn't seem to be working out well. I've never raised my voice to him but a parent can only take so much. What should I do about the tantrums? And my God, do they eventually stop?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (12)
  • My son's pedi told me to just ignore them. It actually works. He will stop after a min or so. I try timeouts too... I really only spank if it's something super serious.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Be patient. Validate his upset, even if it seems ridiculous to you. It makes SENSE to him that XYZ would be upsetting. Make statements, just simple observations, like "You wanted to keep playing with that toy but I put it away." Be there for him. Good luck!
    FelipesMom

    Answer by FelipesMom at 2:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Yes, they stop! lol

    Maybe you need to start raising your voice to him. It might shock him and you at first, but if you only use it when you're not happy with his behavior, he may catch on that you're serious about what you are saying. Time-outs are tricky as well, but you have to stay consistent with them or they won't work. 1 minute for each year old they are I think is pretty standard. Explain to him after the time out what he did wrong, and have him apologize to you for not behaving.
    gumby11883

    Answer by gumby11883 at 2:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like you have my kiddo over there...in that case ...keep him a little longer please! And return the duct tape when you send him back....seriously though today my method has been to hide from him today is AWFUL!!!!! I feel ya!
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 2:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • We put ours in a time out and it works well. They need to learn that they can't throw tantrums to get their way. We tried to ignore it, but it would just go on and on. So, we moved on to time-outs and they work well.
    Heatherblossom

    Answer by Heatherblossom at 2:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I kind of ignore it.... I tell her I am sorry but her throwing a fit isn't going to change my answer. When she is done throwing her fit she always comes for hugs saying sorry.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 2:36 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Do not give him what he want. AT ALL. And egnore him when he has a fit. Just walk away.. Do not give him what he want when he acts up.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:39 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I used to ignore my son's temper tantrums. They ended quickly after that. For discipline - Each of them has a "currency" which is THE most important thing to them. We used to take that away for an appropriate length of time as punishment. It won't necessarily be a toy. My youngest used to LOVE watching the trash truck. So, occasionally we would say he would not be allowed to watch it. Zero in on what makes him tick. Be Consistent!! Don't threaten something unless you really will do it. Like saying "you will never watch TV again". That is unrealistic and not something you can follow through on. Also, make sure he gets enough one on one time with you and your SO. Plus praise when he does things right. As far as food goes offer him healthy choices and if he eats, fine, if not no big deal. He will not starve. Don't make meal time a battle. Just calmly say this is what we are having and leave it at that. GL!!
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 2:47 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Be consistent with discipline and don't give in. We use time out for tantrums and we NEVER give in.
    We actually rarely deal with tantrums anymore because he knows our expectations... probably the same is true with your son at daycare... he's an angel because the expectations are clear.
    If my son didn't want to eat and only wanted PB&J he'd be going hungry... he eats what is provided. The other night my son was messing around at the dinner table.. he got a warning but still wouldn't eat and was being naughty... he was given a time out and came back and ate all of his meal.
    Time outs are for them to calm down and refocus... they shouldn't end until they have calmed down... if they are still crying and carrying on then it isn't over. With my son it takes him 4 minutes pretty consistently to calm down... 2 minutes to stop with his tantrum and another 2 minutes for him to calm down enough to join back in with the activity
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:55 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • :-)
    Check out:


     Gentle Parenting Info


     

    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 3:09 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

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