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6 Bumps

Can't believe he put me in this position!!!! HELP HELP HELP

I AM IN TEARS OVER HERE, BECAUSE I FEEL I MIGHT LOSE A GREAT FRIEND OVER THIS!!!

I met this gay doctor about 5 years ago while living in Atlanta, we became great friends, and still keep in contact with each other. He always hinted to me that he wanted a child, but I always thought him and his partner would adopt. Well well well, he popped the question, he wants me to carry his child.. OMG WHAT??? He called me and asked if I would consider being a donor and a surrogate. OMG I care about him a lot, and know he would be an awesome father, but I can not. The man even faxed me contract to look over before I make up my mind. It says he would pay me for my service, will pay all my medical bills, will provide food for the entire pregnancy and 3 months after, will give me a gas card every week ect. and that I would have visitation with the child. WHY WHY WHY WHY??? Why me??? I don't know what to tell him?

I guess I am too nice of a person, because I don't know how to tell him NO!!!

Answer Question
 
TamikaJovan

Asked by TamikaJovan at 5:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 8 (235 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Tell him no. That your not comfortable with this type of arrangement. Tell him now and do not leave it open for discussion.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 5:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Tell him no.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:02 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Just say no. I would never be comfortable being a surrogate to anyone. Not even family. Just tell him you arent built to handle something like that emotionally or mentally but you wish you were.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 5:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • if your not comfortable with it then tell him no.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Tell him that you've really thought about it, and you really can't see yourself being selfless enough to be able to do this for anyone.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 5:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Wow..that is a lot to ask of someone. He must think highly of you though.
    I would take the time to think it through,don't jump to say yes or no. If you really feel in your heart thats not something you can do..simply say no. And don't feel pressured into doing it..there are other women out there that would be willing to do it.Good Luck :)
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 5:05 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Tell him the truth about how you feel about it.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:05 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • talk with him and tell him how you feel
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 5:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • just tell him you just don't have the heart to carry a baby for 9 months and give away... even if you have visitations it's not that easy... that it's a nice offer but you just can't take him up on it.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 5:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Just let him know that you are honored that he chose you...But you are not in the right position to help in that way right now. Let him know that you care about him and will be there to support him. Maybe offer to help him find a suitable woman/family. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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