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How long do you wait?

How long would you wait for your husband to let you know what's going on? It's been 4 months and he still says he needs time, but he won't go and talk to someone to help himself. And he refuses to talk to me he says there is nothing I can say or do to help him figure out what's going on in his mind.

 He says he still loves me and cares for me and divorce isn't an option but he says he can't change overnight and I was like something changed overnight for you to feel the way you feel. 

Answer Question
 
sweet_mamaof3

Asked by sweet_mamaof3 at 5:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,071 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sorry 4 months and still refusing to talk about it I would think he doesn't want things to work out.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like he's avoiding making a decision, holding you hostage. Not fair.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 5:04 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • my husband an i tell eachother right away so it doesn't build up or back fire in the long run...
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 5:05 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • does he really want to make a decision, looks like he already has
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I'm with amybaby. He needs to get help or you need to move on.

    If he wants it to work, he needs to involve you in these issues and you should both work them out.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Sometimes things aren't black and white for men. They are a little 'special' when it comes to talking about emotions and their feelings. But that is no reason for him to be be dragging this out. You need to let him know, that this isn't just about him. Your involved in this as much as he is and you two need to talk. If nothing you can say will help him, don't say anything just listen. If he can't talk about his feelings with you, maybe encourage him to write you. Sometimes it's easier to write things down, to get everything out without interruption or feeling like they are being judged. I would also give him a deadline. Let him know you love him, but you really need an answer by such and such a date. ... Good luck! And hang in there!
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 5:14 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I would wait zero seconds. Move on with your life. This does not mean immediate divorce. I am talking about doing things for you... have you decided what you want ?- take care of yourself. Seek your own happiness do not let him continue to hold you hostage. If you do not respect yourself why should he? You deserve love, happiness, respect etc... Best Wishes, peace and happiness.

    mrsljamieson

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 5:19 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • If he refuses to get help and refuses to talk to you after all this time, there is definitely a big problem. My nephew in law did this to my niece after 20 yrs of marriage and he ended up leaving her and her two daughters. Moved back to Illinois to be with another woman he had met while visiting his mom in the hospital (Heart Surgery). Came back, wouldn't discuss with her, ignored her, sex was gone, etc...She ended up on Meth and drugs and 13 mos of prison time. It almost destroyed her. She is trying to depend on God for her help, but she doesn't trust men anymore. They had been high school sweethearts. Sounds like he needs help or just is afraid to admit something to you. Good luck and God bless.
    Caring1

    Answer by Caring1 at 5:33 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • We solve all our problems before we go to bed-we try to atleast
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 12:48 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

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