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6 Bumps

What about NOT wanting relationships? (Sorta Vent-y)

Around this time of year especially, everyone focuses so hard on romance and love relationships, marriages or dating or will he propose....

Is it completely out of whack to NOT want to be in a relationship? Sure, I don't have a partner or helpmate, but I didn't have that when I was married, so I guess I don't know what's missing. I don't have to deal with another person's schedule, likes/dislikes, laundry, dishes, blanket hogging, TV habits, and input on everything. No more comments about how I look with my mudmask on, or whether my socks and pajamas are unsexy for bedtime. If no one compliments my cooking, it's because there's no audience, not just an ungrateful one.

I have friends for company and companionship and no real interest in sex anymore. I can change my own oil and lightbulbs, take out my own trash and open my own jars.

So why does everyone keep acting like I'm incomplete and unfulfilled if I'm actually happier on my own?

Answer Question
 
geminilove

Asked by geminilove at 5:08 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 23 (17,006 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I say kudos to you. What you are doing is what most women should do BEFORE they get into a long term relationship.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 5:10 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • If you like your life, it really doesn't matter how anyone else acts. It is your life--your choice.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 5:11 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Because so many people think they know what is best for everyone. I don't think what you feel is so strange. You know what you want and what you don't.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 5:15 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I guess some people don't understand why anyone would want to be alone...but that's okay, because it's your life, not theirs. If you don't want to be in a relationship, don't be. I would have no problem telling anyone who was prying or harassing me that way to bugger off.
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 5:16 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I was widowed at age 43 and spent the next 15 years without a relationship. Learned to be more independent, did what I wanted to do, didn't have to answer to anyone except my children and their needs. Was quite nice. Just recently remarried will be 2 yrs in April and I wish sometimes I never did it again. I have to listen to his grumbling when something doesn't go his way, it's always what he wants and doesn't want. The sex completely stopped after a few months. I feel like I fell in love hook, line and sinker and then Bamm! it was all gone and now I just feel like a caregiver and housekeeper for him. He says he loves me, but I just think he misses his dead wife.
    Caring1

    Answer by Caring1 at 5:20 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • being single and independent and finding out who you are is key. I'm so glad that i'm taking this time for me because my son doesn't need to see mommy with a whole bunch of different guys. besides i can throw a football better than daddy any day. : )

    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 5:23 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • it's a choice... i have always told my husband that i don't need him in my life i want him in it... i'm capable of doing things on my own.. sometimes he doesn't get it but it's true.... i love my husband he's a great man and i married him for that reason not cause i need him.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 5:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • nothin like a peace of mind...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 5:35 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • My mom is right there with you. She's hot, but just wants to be alone. She is so not interested in men at all & feels free because of it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:54 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • you go girl be proud you dont need a man untill you want one!
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 12:43 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

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