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No sex drive :(

Help. I seriously have no sex drive. This isn't a new development either. I really want to make my fiance happy, but I just don't have the urge to have sex. When we do have sex, it's really great sex, but to get to that point is so hard for me.
Has this happened to anyone before? I have two kids and had my tubes tied in October. I don't know if that has something to do with it, but I just want to get that urge back again. We are getting married in June and I want things to be better!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:34 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If this isn't a new issue for you, than he must learn to accept it and at the same time, maybe you can make a compromise about how many times you WILL do it.... I have a very low sex drive and my husband is an undiagnosed Nympho lol!! it took MANY years of fighting and resentment but we finally after 14 years try to both make the effort at least 2 times a weekend - I have to push my self to initiate it but it also make him happy... small price to pay I guess.. I wish wish I loved it more, but its hard when you don't
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:38 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Masturbate! It is proven to increase sex drive in women. It gets hormones flowing.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:41 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Babe, we are so in the same boat, you have no idea!! I posted a question about the exact same thing a few days ago! DH and I have awesome sex, but I just don't feel up to it anymore. Someone suggested I try an arousing cream or some pills. Someone else said it was all frame of mind. Good luck to you!
    jalvarez626

    Answer by jalvarez626 at 5:57 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I totally feel your pain :( It sucks. It makes me feel bad that I don't my husband as satisfied sexually as I once did. And also that *I'm* not as satisfied either. Thank you for asking this question!
    Bears.Mommy

    Answer by Bears.Mommy at 5:57 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Oh wow what is going on I feel the same exact way it's like a new year and my sex drive shuts down wtf! lol I'm glad you asked the ??? because I really need an answer
    mspoison

    Answer by mspoison at 6:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • I am in same boat as you but this is becase I am in pain constantly d/t a muscle condition from an accident, I used to want it every other day now he is lucky if I want it once a week. It is also medication related. My husband is great about it. We wrk together becausde my an never ends I just have to get on pillows and stuff. I often try to think about it alot during the day to psych my self up. I dont have trouble with it but you can try different lubes-we have occasionaly for fun. Try toys. It is probably stress related. You said yur getting married-you may not know you have stress. Do you take antidepressents they can really effect your sex drive. So can others.If you are depressed that can effect your drive. Dont worry it should pass for you!
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 12:23 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

  • Your body may not have adjusted to the change in hormones brought on by the tubal ligation. Many women who have had this issue have found that providing the body with the building blocks for these hormones and the associated neurotransmitters via food-based sources makes a real difference. Increasing intake of essential fatty acids, choline and inositol (B vitamin family), zinc and arginine may help. Omega-3 and Omega-6 are found in tuna, salmon, nuts, seeds and peanut butter, choline and inositol are found in dark green leafy vegetables, eggs and whole grains, zinc is found in strawberries, dark purple fruits, nuts (particularly pecans), arginine is found in eggs, nuts and seafood. One thing, coffee destroys inositol, so do not eat a source of inositol while consuming coffee. Also, caffiene is a vasoconstrictor and therefore not good for sexual function anyway.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:41 AM on Jan. 28, 2011

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