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trying to figure out custody

my boyfriend and have been talking aobut doing custody for are two year old.. i decided to do this now why we are still kinda of getting a long see are realstionship is not doing so good and is proablay going to end really soon.. but my question is do we have to go to court or do we get a lawyor and they can do it or something. we just want to do everyting on are own but want it done right just in case something does happpen.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Jan. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Well, you can work things out between you...but later if something goes wrong, you won't have any legal documents to support you.

    You could work things out...then go to court, and have the court document those things. Most courts offer mediation, and you could meet together with the court mediator....tell them what you want to work out, and then file it with the court. This would give you legal protection without the expense of a lawyer.

    As long as everything is okay between you, you feel safe doing things yourself, the problem is that once you start seeing other people, one party may get jealous and cause trouble, or one may meet someone else who causes problems, and then you may wish you'd gone to court to make things legal.

    Good Luck
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 5:53 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • IF you can trust eachother and are sure that you will always be amlicable then do it on your own. If not then go to court. If you are confident that you can work out an agreement then court does not need to be involved. If you disagree and have major problems then youll both need a lawyer. GL

    PS it might be good to start researching lawyers now so that you are prepared if need be
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:54 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • My opinion is to have the family court figure out a solution. Anything that is done between you both will not hold up in a court of law if something bad happens in the future. A classic case of CYA (cover your a$$)
    jen2774161

    Answer by jen2774161 at 5:55 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • Get a mediator and have a judge sign off on it still just as legal as if lawyers had done it.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

  • My best advice is to make it as legal as possible. There are a bunch of parenting sites that give free templates for shared custody if thats what you are aiming for. Make sure everything is spelled out. Who can pick up and drop off? Time and how long before you can leave if the other doesnt show? Police to help in the event of a problem to get the child back? No overnights allowed of the opposite sex unless related by blood or marriage. How will you split the holidays? Child support, will it be handled by the state (my advice is this route) or by yourselves? When your child starts school do you have sole custody where you solely decide on things there or will he have imput? Things like that. Make a list of what you want and start looking at custody orders friends might have. Get it typed up and notorized and register it with the court.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:07 PM on Jan. 27, 2011

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