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I was talking to bm and now is not returning my emails. I have her Phone # should I call her or just wait.


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Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2008 in Adoption

Answers (8)
  • I am a birth mom to a child I gave up at 15. She found me some years ago while raising a family it was very, very hard for me. She is in my heart but cannot be part of my life right now. I gave her up so she could have a better life. I had nothing to give. Her returning to my life seriously disturbed and threatend my family. My advice is email her once more give her the contact info you need her to know and leave the ball in her court.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • Well I was adopted and found my birth mom... I definitely had some time where I wasn't sure if she was going to respond to me and my wanting to know her. I also think you need to give her space - but definitely let her know how your feeling and how to reach you. Yes leave the ball in her court but also - since I know how you feel and how important this probably is to you - I wouldn't just leave it at that. I think it couldn't hurt to drop her an email once in awhile to remind her your still out there and your still interested in a relationship of some sort when she is ready ...

    Answer by elithefly at 8:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • This happened to me, too. We had a really emotionally-charged reunion and spent a lot of time together for about a year then out of the blue, NOTHING! For about 8 years I wondered what happened, then, as quick as she disappeared, she was back as if nothing had happened.

    During that 8 years, I e-mailed and sent cards at least twice a year, but never heard anything...It practically ripped out my soul, but I had to just let her go. I felt like I'd been thrown away...twice. My feelings of self-doubt were immeasurable.

    I've set my boundaries pretty tight this time. I won't let myself get close again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I am an adoptee who found a Mother who did not want to be found. I just wanted to pass this link on to you in the event you find rejection too. It helped me alot- understanding some of the issues my Natural Mother had faced with my adoption- and knowing she was hurt too. And that it was possible she didn't just hate my guts, and think I was some monster. Godspeed on your journey to your TRUTH!

    Why Won't My Mother Meet Me?"
    by Carole Anderson

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • i think you should leave it up to her to return contact - it was hard for her to give you up and now its memories returning - let her relax and console herself - let her contact you when she is ready - she knows you are - just be patient.

    Answer by vakatia at 5:29 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • do you have siblings?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • is this your bm or the bm of your child either way I would just wait and see. it cold be she no longer has access to internet. just be patient if and when she is ready for contact she will find you.

    Answer by Lyndall at 1:55 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Was there any indication? Is she hurt? how long have you been waiting? Was she ready? i agree with the others but only you know for sure.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:38 PM on Oct. 1, 2009

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